A Clothes Call
Everyone gloves a good pun, so
this Rogue should be a shoe-in. I expect you can belt them out quickly. They
are mostly pretty easy. Please play along and submit your guesses to bill.crider
at gmail.com even if you don’t want to claim and host. Note the puns are not
just on articles of clothing, but also terms referring to clothing.
1.
I had a flat on my
car, but had no spare. Desperate to get to my country club appointment, I
replaced it with the spare from my golf cart. But when I got to the fancy country
club they would not let me into the parking lot because they told me my car was
wearing inappropriate BLANK.
2. A Jesuit priest on an Indian Reservation was
concerned that the young men their had a very lax attitude toward sex, violence
and drunkenness. They would often laugh and jest about those activities. The
priest would remonstrate them “You shouldn’t BLANK”.
3. The first time I asked a girl to a prom, I
told her I was going to wear a tuxedo, and I expected her to dress appropriately.
She said “I’m BLANK with that.”
4. What kind of vehicle does an arsonist drive?
Obviously, a Ford BLANK.
5. Although my twin sisters were ostensibly
identical, one went through puberty six months ahead of the other. She
developed quite large breasts rather rapidly. The second twin said she didn’t mind
so much, but she wished her sister wouldn’t BLANK so much about it.
6. I always wear my lucky sweater to play poker.
One night, I kept losing hand after hand. The dealer kept giving me the same
card over and over. Then suddenly I realized I had pulled the wrong sweater out
of my closet. “Oh, no!” I said. “I can’t believe I got that unlucky BLANK”
7. When the Indian chieftain ruled several
villages he had a large cart made to ride upon which was pulled by a pair of
ox. But when his grandfather died and he became a maharaja, he inherited a much
more elegant giant carriage pulled by BLANK.
8. My brother often put on affectations of 1800s
and 1900s British nobility. For example, upon greeting his friends, he would
often say “BLANK, my good fellow!”
9.
I bought my wife some beautiful
silk clothing when I was in India, and she wore it when we went to a party. But
one of the women there got angry and accused her of cultural appropriation. All
she would say was “I’m BLANK.”
