RogueRiddle #1121 A Clothes Call


Bill Crider
 

A Clothes Call

Everyone gloves a good pun, so this Rogue should be a shoe-in. I expect you can belt them out quickly. They are mostly pretty easy. Please play along and submit your guesses to bill.crider at gmail.com even if you don’t want to claim and host. Note the puns are not just on articles of clothing, but also terms referring to clothing.

 

1.    I had a flat on my car, but had no spare. Desperate to get to my country club appointment, I replaced it with the spare from my golf cart. But when I got to the fancy country club they would not let me into the parking lot because they told me my car was wearing inappropriate BLANK.

 2.    A Jesuit priest on an Indian Reservation was concerned that the young men their had a very lax attitude toward sex, violence and drunkenness. They would often laugh and jest about those activities. The priest would remonstrate them “You shouldn’t BLANK”.

 3.    The first time I asked a girl to a prom, I told her I was going to wear a tuxedo, and I expected her to dress appropriately. She said “I’m BLANK with that.”

 4.    What kind of vehicle does an arsonist drive? Obviously, a Ford BLANK. 

5.    Although my twin sisters were ostensibly identical, one went through puberty six months ahead of the other. She developed quite large breasts rather rapidly. The second twin said she didn’t mind so much, but she wished her sister wouldn’t BLANK so much about it.

6.    I always wear my lucky sweater to play poker. One night, I kept losing hand after hand. The dealer kept giving me the same card over and over. Then suddenly I realized I had pulled the wrong sweater out of my closet. “Oh, no!” I said. “I can’t believe I got that unlucky BLANK”

 7.    When the Indian chieftain ruled several villages he had a large cart made to ride upon which was pulled by a pair of ox. But when his grandfather died and he became a maharaja, he inherited a much more elegant giant carriage pulled by BLANK.

 8.    My brother often put on affectations of 1800s and 1900s British nobility. For example, upon greeting his friends, he would often say “BLANK, my good fellow!”

 9.    I bought my wife some beautiful silk clothing when I was in India, and she wore it when we went to a party. But one of the women there got angry and accused her of cultural appropriation. All she would say was “I’m BLANK.”

10.    I really enjoyed tennis, but then I developed tennis elbow, so my doctor said I should try another sport. I took up long distance biking, and just my luck, I developed BLANK.