No overnight updates. Gary is still in the lead with 8, followed by Lars with 2. Instead of score updates, some hints :-)
- Make a biopic about the Mamas and the Papas, taking over a female lead part, while you make this dish: (IN A FILM, EVERY ACTOR HAS THEIR ____)
- Your main ingredient for the previous dish should not come fresh from the grocery store. The best ones are dumpster dived from this colored receptacle in the back of the store:
- Undercook your meat. The food poisoning will give you the motivation to run these morning races: (MOST OF THEM ARE NO MORE THAN 5, K?)
- Import your fruits from Australia. Use the red ones to make this fantastic sweet and sour accoutrement for the meat:
- Go to the Apple Store. Get a new computer. Play calming music to revitalize your spirit as you prepare this dish: (THIS ONE IS A LITTLE KRAFTY)
- Strike a small fire and cook your spuds over it. The smaller the flame, the tastier the char when you serve these later:
- Go play some tennis while this dish is cooking. Make sure you emulate that German tennis player, though - the food won't taste nearly as good of you can't verb her name by the end: (DON'T COOK THIS WHERE ITS NAME SAYS TO COOK IT)
- At some point during the day, be sure to turn on the big game for your family. Watching that team lose again will distract your family from all these small and unoriginal fibbings you should tell them:
- If you have leftovers when you wake up the next morning, cook them in a pan on high heat. Cook em real good too. The best leftovers are so dark and charred, you can taste then the whole day while you're out shopping: (HEY SEAR-I, CAN YOU SOLVE THIS ONE?)
- Above all else, you should make sure to celebrate the holiday in true American fashion: controversially transferring military vehicles to local police departments. You know, like the grateful Pilgrims did with the natives:
Good luck, y'all, and may the odds be ever in your favor.
Adam Even Engel, M.A.T.
Evergreen High School, Seattle, WA
"Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life."