In church on her wedding day the bride looked over at her prospective husband and though to herself, “He’s a nice enough fellow but It seems there’s always groom for improvement.” Then she quickly glanced around the church and suddenly got an inspiration. She muttered to herself, “Aisle altar hymn!” 

And then there was the spinster who gave up looking for a husband and decided she could just become her own bride. She would profess a lifelong self-love and swear an oath of individual singular fidelity. Once she found a preacher who was willing to play along with this notion, she marched down the aisle and was absolutely beside herself.

Gary Hallock 

==============

Didja hear about the Jewish magician?  He pulled a rabbi out of his hat.

Doug Spector

=========

Parishioners were complaining at how crowded the church was on Easter Sunday. So vocal was the grumbling from the standing-room-only congregation, it was clear to the priest that he had achieved critical mass.

Gary Hallock

==========

Sure Moses was afraid seeing the burning bush but he was more terrified just knowing he was at Mount Cyanide

Doug Spector

==========



Many people recognize the dreadlocks which are commonly associated with Rastafarians, but there are quite a few other religions that inspire black people to express their believes through their “do.” For instance there’s an obscure sect of black Buddhists who live high in the chilly mountains of Mongolia who prefer to let their hair grow out in a “natural” style. As a part of their worship, they practice serene martial arts in an outdoor setting. Of course at that altitude, it snows quite a lot, so after setting a while these folks routinely will return to their traditional canvas and wood huts to “defrost” the ice from their voluminous puffy hair. These purpose built structures have a name which might sound delicious to you and me. They are called AFRO ZEN YOGA YURTS. 

=============

Couldn't Moses' mother have packed a toy inside the basket? The poor baby was up a creek without a rattle 

Doug Spector

=========

Did you hear about the fanatical auto engineers who designed an all-electric vehicle? They are e-van-gelicals.

Jim Ertner

==================

Some religions insist that women must cover their heads and/or faces whenever they appear in public. If their mouths are also covered, would this not be an attempt to totally muzzle ‘em?

I submitted a screenplay for consideration that centered on a group of strict fundamentalist doctors serving without any modern technology in a field hospital during the Korean War. Of course my proposal was rejected as being just too absurd. They said the whole idea was Amish M*A*S*H. 

Gary Hallock

==========



If you think Paul's mission to the Gentiles was exhausting...his real job was really in-tents!

Question: What do we learn from Jesus'miracles of multiplying fish? 

Answer:  That faith comes from herring 

Doug Spector

============

Considering the big “dumb-dumb” I perpetrated by sharing my Rogue answer sheet last night, I’m gonna try to make a silk purse out of this sow’s ear by pulling my fat out of the friar.

Since hardly anyone plays riddles anymore anyhow, I’m going to turn this failed Rogue into a punning thread. Taking my 10 riddles as an example, let’s riff on religions for a while. No time limit, no rules and no pressure. Anyone up for something like this?

Gary Hallock

==================

Okay, I will start with a few of my laughed-over ideas from the Rogue construction…

* When rabbis are engaged in deep thought about garden plants, are they wondering Jews?

* Extracting a healthy tooth can be very difficult to perform. Probably your dentist would prefer to pull out a Lutheran.

* For many religions, Saturday and Sunday are holy days, but I’ve heard that witches prefer to take Wiccans off.

Gary Hallock

=============

Hard-core collectors of classic Cadillacs are known to be DeVille worshipers. I think a case could be made that such fanatics are all anti-Chryslers. 

If a preacher puts sugar into a very small cup of coffee, would he use a minister stick?

I might donate money to a charismatic parson or a very sincere minister but not a psychic clergyman. I would never fundamentalist preacher.

Gary Hallock

-- 

--
Gary (Immodest Moderator) Hallock, Leerless Feeder

I’m a Gaia who believes in total freedom of religion. Voodoo agree? Even atheist who believes in nothing should be able to Sikh his own truth Hindu whatever he wants.

I don’t care who you warship so long as you don’t try to tell me how to sink. I dreadnaught the fires of shell. It’s a real blasphemy!

Gary Hallock

==========

I told my friends I was going to start my own religion. Most of them were very critical and many of them just broke out laughing out loud. Still I’m going through with it and despite all the derision, I’m sure they’ll all eventually be impressed with me, tho’ dissed.  

Gary Hallock

===========

I believe the Israeli currently  in the Space Station  is actually a rocket zionist.

Gary Reeves

===============

In church on her wedding day the bride looked over at her prospective husband and though to herself, “He’s a nice enough fellow but It seems there’s always groom for improvement.” Then she quickly glanced around the church and suddenly got an inspiration. She muttered to herself, “Aisle altar hymn!” 

And then there was the spinster who gave up looking for a husband and decided she could just become her own bride. She would profess a lifelong self-love and swear an oath of individual singular fidelity. Once she found a preacher who was willing to play along with this notion, she marched down the aisle and was absolutely beside herself.

Gary Hallock 

==============

Didja hear about the Jewish magician?  He pulled a rabbi out of his hat.

Doug Spector

=========

Parishioners were complaining at how crowded the church was on Easter Sunday. So vocal was the grumbling from the standing-room-only congregation, it was clear to the priest that he had achieved critical mass.

Gary Hallock

==========

Sure Moses was afraid seeing the burning bush but he was more terrified just knowing he was at Mount Cyanide

Doug Spector

==========



Many people recognize the dreadlocks which are commonly associated with Rastafarians, but there are quite a few other religions that inspire black people to express their believes through their “do.” For instance there’s an obscure sect of black Buddhists who live high in the chilly mountains of Mongolia who prefer to let their hair grow out in a “natural” style. As a part of their worship, they practice serene martial arts in an outdoor setting. Of course at that altitude, it snows quite a lot, so after setting a while these folks routinely will return to their traditional canvas and wood huts to “defrost” the ice from their voluminous puffy hair. These purpose built structures have a name which might sound delicious to you and me. They are called AFRO ZEN YOGA YURTS. 

=============

Couldn't Moses' mother have packed a toy inside the basket? The poor baby was up a creek without a rattle 

Doug Spector

=========

Did you hear about the fanatical auto engineers who designed an all-electric vehicle? They are e-van-gelicals.

Jim Ertner

==================

Some religions insist that women must cover their heads and/or faces whenever they appear in public. If their mouths are also covered, would this not be an attempt to totally muzzle ‘em?

I submitted a screenplay for consideration that centered on a group of strict fundamentalist doctors serving without any modern technology in a field hospital during the Korean War. Of course my proposal was rejected as being just too absurd. They said the whole idea was Amish M*A*S*H. 

Gary Hallock

==========



If you think Paul's mission to the Gentiles was exhausting...his real job was really in-tents!

Question: What do we learn from Jesus'miracles of multiplying fish? 

Answer:  That faith comes from herring 

Doug Spector

============

Considering the big “dumb-dumb” I perpetrated by sharing my Rogue answer sheet last night, I’m gonna try to make a silk purse out of this sow’s ear by pulling my fat out of the friar.

Since hardly anyone plays riddles anymore anyhow, I’m going to turn this failed Rogue into a punning thread. Taking my 10 riddles as an example, let’s riff on religions for a while. No time limit, no rules and no pressure. Anyone up for something like this?

Gary Hallock

==================

Okay, I will start with a few of my laughed-over ideas from the Rogue construction…

* When rabbis are engaged in deep thought about garden plants, are they wondering Jews?

* Extracting a healthy tooth can be very difficult to perform. Probably your dentist would prefer to pull out a Lutheran.

* For many religions, Saturday and Sunday are holy days, but I’ve heard that witches prefer to take Wiccans off.

Gary Hallock

=============

Hard-core collectors of classic Cadillacs are known to be DeVille worshipers. I think a case could be made that such fanatics are all anti-Chryslers. 

If a preacher puts sugar into a very small cup of coffee, would he use a minister stick?

I might donate money to a charismatic parson or a very sincere minister but not a psychic clergyman. I would never fundamentalist preacher.

Gary Hallock

--
Gary (Immodest Moderator) Hallock, Leerless Feeder