More Asimov Limericks


Stan Kegel <kegel@...>
 

Here are more of limericks from Isaac Asimovs books of humor, this
time cleaner:

There was a young lady named Bates
Who amused every one of her dates
By keeping one breast
In total arrest
While the other described figure eights.

The bustards an elegant fowl
With minimum reason to howl
He escapes what would be
Illegitimacy
By grace of a fortunate vowel.

There was a young woman named Melanie
Who was asked by a man, Do you sell any?
She replied, no, siree
I give it for free
To sell it, dear sir, is a felony.

There was a young woman named Jamie
Whom no one could think of as brainy.
In her search for a man
She went out to Iran
To wed Ayatollah Khomeini.

I got into bed with Delores
And her diaphragm proved to be porous.
The result of our sins
Was a fine pair of twins,
Now the birth control people abhor us.

An astronomer said, Whats the use!
Our classical knowledge is loose.
There can be nothing stupider
Than to name that world Jupiter
When we all snow it should be called Zeus.

Asimov states this one was written by Woodrow Wilson:
I sat next to the dutchess at tea;
It was just as I feared it would be.
Her rumblings abdominal
Were truly phenomenal
And everyone thought it was me.

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