Blast from the past (early June '98)


The Hallock Entity <c.hallock@...>
 

Hello PUNY gang. Ever since Lars received his baptism by fire from CynMac a
few weeks ago I've been meaning to re-post this collection of exchanges
from early last June when Cyn and I got into one of our infamous tug
o'words. Forgive me for recycling this stuff, but I thought it made a
worthy trip down memory lane.

It began innocently enough when Cyn and I were carrying on a private
conversation that began to eat up too much of her precious time. I wasn't
eager to clip the thread and invited PUNY to take it public.

============================

CynmacG and I were just conversing along in our usual free association
style when she suddenly realized she has to make a living. Well obviously
I don't!

We made the mistake of accidentally starting up a private conversation
which naturally snowballed into what you see here. Now she wants to bail
out! Anyone want to pick up this thread and get CynMacG out on BAIL? I
SINK it would be nice if someone else was willing to help PRESERVER sanity.

GARY HALLOCK

============================

I've enjoyed your punderful letter e'en oar mouse lee, but I have to . . .
well, does the word "work" hold any significance for you? How do you get any
of it done? I know, I didn't get it dun, it was a roan, and roan is a horse
that's in the driver's side of the boat, and of course that's where he is,
he's an oars, isn't he?
<CynMacG@...>
============================

Oh, this does not BOAT well! You made me feel so guilty I was gonna take
an early LAUNCH because I knew you WOOD RUDDER work. Then YAWL mentioned
"OARS" and something about aN ORSE, MAN! How do you expect me to LEIF you
alone after that? I knew we were headed for another little ROW. (OAR at
least a little SKIFfle) Would it really KEEL you to aSAIL me one more time?

GARY

==============================

Don't ANCHOR her any further or she'll give you a good PADDLE which
will SHOREly hurt and you may have to see a DOCKtor.

Message From shelleyd@... (ShelleyD)

==================================

Gary, regarding the plight of poor CynmacG:
SUWANEE SPAR, huh? AWL DECK ya. It's NAUTICAL to
a SAILOR TILLER work is done. She'd RUDDER KNOT let you get
AWEIGH aHEAD. For her it's STAY and BELAY to work or
SCUTTLE off before she's PUNT enough. She'd be MIZZEN out and
WOODEN KETCH up 'til the DEADRISE. FORETOP GALLANT
punsters to WAVE such an advantage MAST be tough. And don't
start again while she's at work. Let a BROAD REACH home
before you CLIPPER wings. (Why does the term BROAD REACH
make me think of OARS N' WELLS?) Anyway, thanks, I had a
MARITIME giving you a PAINTER'S opinion.

DROOLY OARS, Jon.

jkhoughton@... (Jon K Houghton)
===========================================

Poor CynMacG indeed! It will BREAKER heart that she didn't KETCH this
topic. After that first WAVE of BULLSHIP went out, I had an OCEAN that
someone WOOD get my DRIFTS SAND BEACH SHORE to SANDY back something good.
It was SWELL of JON to RISE to the occasion, and it SURFS me right for
putting my OARS in the water UNLOCKED. (There's more than one WEIGH TO
heave a HO, don't you SEA?)

It WOOD a PIER now we're TIDE. Let's not get SHELLFISH about this topic. If
we have a reLAPS or we'll both get WASHED UP for SHORE! Then where would
we SAND DOLLAR puns?

GARY HALLOCK

===================================


<<There's more than one WEIGH TO
heave a HO>>

Who are you calling a ho'?

Cyn
===================================

The following is jest in pun:

Oh no! Woe to you Gary, for inferring Cyn is a ho'. That is just so low.
What's mo' I know this will cause quite a row, disturbing the staus quo.
Maybe she'll go fo' some dough or jo' as an apology. Either way though,
you'll probably wind up very po'.

Dave Bunch

======================================

What ho!
Say it ain't so.
Off we go.
But you stoop so low!
Interrupt the flow
Of jokes as they go
To call me a ho'
When you know it ain't so.
Your butt will glow
From the stinging blow
Of an arrow and bow--
For revenge I crow.
If to bed I go
You must surely know
It's for fun I do so
Even though . . . even though
I could earn much mo'
Than ever befo'
If commercial I'd go . . .
BUT I AIN'T NO HO'.

Message From CynMacG@...

======================================

NO MO HO

Yes, I Cynthia message, the record shows clearly
But call Cyn a "ho?" - well not even nearly
Yet news of this faux pas, was spread very cherrily
Now in rhyme she implies that I will pay dearly

I'll say it again, like I did in beginning
The "ho" I was heaving which left your heads spinning
Was no hooker you guys, 'twasn't ME you heard "Cynning"
So cease all this protest and needless blame pinning

I'm the victim in this, I can easily show
That it's ME who's been TRICKED, and you probably know
what THAT means my friends, unless you are slow
If she wants me to pay, then it's true she's turned pro!

GARY HALLOCK

====================================

In rhyme Gary chides me,
In verse he derides me,
And though he's protesting,
In blame he's investing.

He disclaims name-calling
But blame still is falling
And there at the end
He again insults this friend.

How lucky my skin
Isn't terribly thin
Or the thrust of this verse
Would be very much worse.

But I'll say "Cheers!" to Gary
And though he may harry
This poor PUNY punster
I wouldn't, not once, stir

To dis him right back
With a vile attack
In reply to his one
'Cause 'twas all said in fun.

So let's call it a truce
And we'll no longer goose
Each other's risibility
And retire to invisibility

From the field of the jest
(Gary, you are the best)
Or else, what is worse, is
We'll be forced to commit more of these ill-metered, barely rhyming verses!

Cyn
====================================

Patrick (Hester) was unable to post his poetic contribution to PUNY and has
asked me to 4-word it. He always Hester have the last word.

Everyone seems determined to DERAIL CynMac's quaTRAIN of thought. By adding
these BRANCH LINES, Hester was able to SIDETRACK her out on a LIMBerick.
Isn't this ex-SIDING?

- GARY H.
-----------------------------------------

You'll have to stretch the meter a little, but...

In rhyme Gary chides me,
In verse he derides me,
And though he's protesting,
In blame he's investing.
he claimed cash could get you insides me

He disclaims name-calling
But blame still is falling
And there at the end
He again insults this friend.
and says I take money for balling

How lucky my skin
Isn't terribly thin
Or the thrust of this verse
Would be very much worse.
right thru, instead of just in

But I'll say "Cheers!" to Gary
And though he may harry
This poor PUNY punster
I wouldn't, not once, stir
I'd rather do it with Shemp, Moe and Larry

To dis him right back
With a vile attack
In reply to his one
'Cause 'twas all said in fun.
let's just pedal over this crack

So let's call it a truce
And we'll no longer goose
Each other's risibility
And retire to invisibility
there goes this train of thought's caboose!

paTRICK heSTER


====================================

BEATING A DEAD HO

If any dead horse is worth beating
It's this one, cause you guys keep feeding
These rumors which are so misleading
And tend to be quite self defeating

So here I am carefully wording
This new explanation not skirting
The facts without further perverting
In hopes of more trouble averting

I've been known to construct without urgin'
Some horrid linguistic perversion
So it seems that I too am no virgin
And my guilt riddled conscience needs purgin'

Since most of our work's not in verses
Who's to say whose is better or worse is
Is it that which is verbose, or just terse is
Or should we be paid more perverses?

Of course not, if so we'd be "'hos"
Prostituting ourselves, which we knows
Is immoral, illegal and sos
This is why we most all write in prose

So while we've been per-versly scribbling
And fobidden fruits we've been nibbling
Over such silly points we are quibbling!
Are we brethren or cistern or sibbling?

If you don't want to be a pun poet
But expect to get paid money fo' it
Your prose is a pro's and you know it
When you do wit for dough, you must 'ho' wit

So although I may be a "whore's beater"
As for CynMac, she still calls me "leader"
And it's certain I wouldn't defeat 'er
If on prosaic terms I should meter

GARY HALLOCK

==========================

Bravo, Gary!
As another wit once said, a rare medium, well done!

Cyn



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