Date   

Re: Cyn

Steve Wilson
 

:::sad:::

On Sat, Jul 4, 2020 at 2:09 PM joseph h via groups.io <joe9438=yahoo.co.uk@groups.io> wrote:

I am sorry to report that messages on Cyn's facebook page include this:

"Janet Longman to Cynthia MacGregor

I am trying to come to terms with my loss. Words from Grant, her partner for many years, have helped.

Grant said "Cynthia was a deeply spiritual being, and believed in a loving Creator and continued existence as a Spirit.
We hope you will remember her as a deeply loving and extremely talented woman, who has uplifted the lives of all who have known her and worked with her.
Cynthia has a donor card for a facility in Delray that she has kept and her wishes are for them to pic...

See more"


We will all miss her.


Joseph

--
Steve
Steve Wilson| Psychologist | The Joyologist | Cheerman of the Bored
Director-National Humor Month
http://www.worldlaughtertour.com
http://www.humormonth.com
http://www.stevewilson.com
http://www.laughterfoundation.org
Skype: s_h_wilson
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/World-Laughter-Tour/57984062492
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevehwilson
Twitter: (@joyologist)
Phone: 614-855-4733
Blog: http://www.laughterandhumor.blogspot.com

Today is just another normal day full of miracles, gifts and opportunities.


Cyn

joseph h
 

I am sorry to report that messages on Cyn's facebook page include this:

"Janet Longman to Cynthia MacGregor

I am trying to come to terms with my loss. Words from Grant, her partner for many years, have helped.

Grant said "Cynthia was a deeply spiritual being, and believed in a loving Creator and continued existence as a Spirit.
We hope you will remember her as a deeply loving and extremely talented woman, who has uplifted the lives of all who have known her and worked with her.
Cynthia has a donor card for a facility in Delray that she has kept and her wishes are for them to pic...

See more"


We will all miss her.


Joseph


#Rogue 1030 Reveal #rogue

bill crider
 

The only person to get both our shaggy dog stories was our one and only Learless Feeder, Gary Hallock. Gary will host Rogue 1031.

Reveals at the end of each story below.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. When Cliff the postman delivered packages, he was known to stop and chat with the folks he was delivering to. Like those at the bar, these conversations often became long and involved. It seemed Cliff could easily start a conversation, but could find no way to end one. If the postal customer was a lady, especially an attractive lady, the topics sometimes became inappropriate. Especially in today's sensitive times, Cliff was an anachronistic throwback to an earlier era. Eventually, of course, it got him in trouble. After repeated warnings and disciplinary actions, Cliff was eventually fired, all because of Cliff's Mail Patter Boldness (Male Pattern Baldness).

2. In an alternate universe, there is no Sahara Desert. Instead, North Africa is covered by a luxurious Sahara Forest. It is all because of the descendants of a man named Sinuheh. (True fact: In ancient Egyptian, Sinuheh means 'Son of the Sycamore.') In ancient times, North Africa was a vast grassland. But Sinuheh saw in a dream that it would become a desert. Determined that he would not allow this to happen, he began planting vast orchards of every kind of tree he could find. From these he became very wealthy, and had many wives and many sons. He raised up these sons and passed on his vision to them, and made them promise to pass it on to their sons. Through dozens of generations they continued this family tradition, and eventually all of North Africa was a vast forest because of Sinuheh's Re-Seeding Heir Line. (Receding Hair Line).


#Rogue Riddle 1030 - A big clue #rogue

bill crider
 

So far, not a single guess. 
Are these really that hard? 
OK, I'll give you a really big clue. Both these punchlines, in the punned version, are about men losing the fur off the top of their heads as they get older. Do you know how hard it is to say that without using any of the target words? Here's another clue: none of the words are repeated. 
Here's another clue: Just tell me you'll host next week, and I'll tell you the answers!

Send your guesses to bill.crider at gmail.com.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
We have not had any shaggy dog stories in a while, so I thought I would throw a couple in this week. One is original, and one is an oldie. 
A shaggy dog is a long story with a complex pun as a punchline. In this case, the puns are not really very complex - just three words. 
The puns are also based on the same topic, although the stories would not lead you to believe so. The puns have no relation to the actual stories. That is, the unpunned words complete the stories, but in shaggy dog fashion, the puns are unrelated to the story.
Don't reply all! If you do, everyone will see your guess and we will draft you to host next week. Instead send your guesses to bill.crider at gmail.com


1. When Cliff the postman delivered packages, he was known to stop and chat with the folks he was delivering to. Like those at the bar, these conversations often became long and involved. It seemed Cliff could easily start a conversation, but could find no way to end one. If the postal customer was a lady, especially an attractive lady, the topics sometimes became inappropriate. Especially in today's sensitive times, Cliff was an anachronistic throwback to an earlier era. Eventually, of course, it got him in trouble. After repeated warnings and disciplinary actions, Cliff was eventually fired, all because of Cliff's Blank Blank Blank.

2. In an alternate universe, there is no Sahara Desert. Instead, North Africa is covered by a luxurious Sahara Forest. It is all because of the descendants of a man named Sinuheh. (True fact: In ancient Egyptian, Sinuheh means 'Son of the Sycamore.') In ancient times, North Africa was a vast grassland. But Sinuheh saw in a dream that it would become a desert. Determined that he would not allow this to happen, he began planting vast orchards of every kind of tree he could find. From these he became very wealthy, and had many wives and many sons. He raised up these sons and passed on his vision to them, and made them promise to pass it on to their sons. Through dozens of generations they continued this family tradition, and eventually all of North Africa was a vast forest because of Sinuheh's Blank Blank Blank.
_._,


#Rogue Riddle 1030 - A couple of shaggy dog stories #rogue

bill crider
 

We have not had any shaggy dog stories in a while, so I thought I would throw a couple in this week. One is original, and one is an oldie. 
A shaggy dog is a long story with a complex pun as a punchline. In this case, the puns are not really very complex - just three words. 
The puns are also based on the same topic, although the stories would not lead you to believe so. The puns have no relation to the actual stories. That is, the unpunned words complete the stories, but in shaggy dog fashion, the puns are unrelated to the story.
Don't reply all! If you do, everyone will see your guess and we will draft you to host next week. Instead send your guesses to bill.crider at gmail.com


1. When Cliff the postman delivered packages, he was known to stop and chat with the folks he was delivering to. Like those at the bar, these conversations often became long and involved. It seemed Cliff could easily start a conversation, but could find no way to end one. If the postal customer was a lady, especially an attractive lady, the topics sometimes became inappropriate. Especially in today's sensitive times, Cliff was an anachronistic throwback to an earlier era. Eventually, of course, it got him in trouble. After repeated warnings and disciplinary actions, Cliff was eventually fired, all because of Cliff's Blank Blank Blank.

2. In an alternative universe, there is no Sahara Desert. Instead, North Africa is covered by a luxurious Sahara Forest. It is all because of the descendants of a man named Sinuheh. In ancient times, North Africa was a vast grassland. But Sinuheh saw in a dream that it would become a desert. Determined that he would not allow this to happen, he began planting vast orchards of every kind of tree he could find. From these he became very wealthy, and had many wives and many sons. He raised up these sons and passed on his vision to them, and made them promise to pass it on to their sons. Through dozens of generations they continued this family tradition, and eventually all of North Africa was a vast forest because of Sinuheh's Blank Blank Blank.


#Rogue Riddle 1030 Warning #rogue

bill crider
 

I will post Rogue Riddle 1030 in the next hour or so.

Bill Crider


Re: #RogueRiddle 1029 Results! #RogueRiddle

Erika Ettin
 

Update! 

We had a last-minute submission from Bill Crider who got a whopping 19 correct! He will be hosting #RogueRiddle 1030 next week! Congrats!

And small correction -- Kirk got 18 correct, not 17. :)

Lastly, some of the best non-correct responses:

Why did the ghost take the elevator?
He was Fred Astaires. (Credit: Gary H.)

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? 
The only time something so close to my junk has a twelve on it. (Thanks, Aaron. ;)) 

When does a joke become a dad joke?
As soon as nobody laughs. (Sad but true. As I always say, "Grown people make puns. Pun people make groans.")

On Tue, Jun 23, 2020 at 11:33 PM Erika Ettin via groups.io <erikagettin=gmail.com@groups.io> wrote:
Hi all!

Thank you to all of the people who participated in this week's dad joke themed riddle! You know who you are, but just to show the love, thank you to...

Gary Hallock
Aaron Fasal
Marlyn Van Driesen
Lars Hanson
Kirk Miller
Chris Gross
One Sagan (Is that your name?)
Jim Ertner
Doug Spector

And the winner is -- drumroll please -- Marilyn with a whopping 18 correct! Marilyn, will you claim hosting duties next week? (Also, your email bounced back to me twice.) 
Runner up is Kirk Miller with 17. YAY! Kirk, will you host if Marilyn can't?

My answers are below, but some of you came up with some excellent alternatives!  

1.      When is a door no longer a door? When it's ajar.

2.      Which of the Great Lakes is the creepiest? Lake Erie

3.      Why do lawyers drink too much? They are members of the Bar (Anything about bars and/or cases would work.)

4.      Your love means nothing to me. Why? We're on a tennis court. 

5.      Why did the ghost take the elevator? To lift his spirits.

6.      What did one shape ask the other when it repaid its loan? Are we square?

7.      Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two/too tired.

8.      What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese

9.      What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time

10.   Why could I only give you one sly animal? Because I couldn't give two fox! (I know, I know!) Aaron was the only one who guessed this.

11.   Where do lumberjacks track their work hours? Their daily or work log

12.   Why was the math textbook sad? It had too many problems

13.   What did the farmer yell at the tree that wouldn't produce any fruit? Grow a pear!

14.   What’s the only kind of photo coffee can take? A mug shot 

15.   Where are dead computer hackers buried? Decrypt

16.   What’s an astronaut’s favorite computer key? Space bar

17.   What do you call a factory that makes ‘meh’ products? A satisfactory or unsatisfactory

18.   What do you call a fake noodle? an impasta

19.   Why did the smartphone need reading glasses? It lost its contacts.

20.   When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent!





Re: the romans

joseph h
 

Turkey would like to gobble up the Kurds. I object; no whey!
Joseph
==========

When the Japanese took the lead in the video game market, there was “Nipon Nintendoed.”

Gary Hallock

===========

When the Romans decimated the legions, it was one in ten dead...

Joseph


Re: the romans

gary hallock
 

When the Japanese took the lead in the video game market, there was “Nipon Nintendoed.”

Gary Hallock

===========

When the Romans decimated the legions, it was one in ten dead...

Joseph






--
Gary (Immodest Moderator) Hallock, Leerless Feeder


the romans

joseph h
 

When the Romans decimated the legions, it was one in ten dead...

Joseph


#RogueRiddle 1029 Results! #RogueRiddle

Erika Ettin
 

Hi all!

Thank you to all of the people who participated in this week's dad joke themed riddle! You know who you are, but just to show the love, thank you to...

Gary Hallock
Aaron Fasal
Marlyn Van Driesen
Lars Hanson
Kirk Miller
Chris Gross
One Sagan (Is that your name?)
Jim Ertner
Doug Spector

And the winner is -- drumroll please -- Marilyn with a whopping 18 correct! Marilyn, will you claim hosting duties next week? (Also, your email bounced back to me twice.) 
Runner up is Kirk Miller with 17. YAY! Kirk, will you host if Marilyn can't?

My answers are below, but some of you came up with some excellent alternatives!  

1.      When is a door no longer a door? When it's ajar.

2.      Which of the Great Lakes is the creepiest? Lake Erie

3.      Why do lawyers drink too much? They are members of the Bar (Anything about bars and/or cases would work.)

4.      Your love means nothing to me. Why? We're on a tennis court. 

5.      Why did the ghost take the elevator? To lift his spirits.

6.      What did one shape ask the other when it repaid its loan? Are we square?

7.      Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two/too tired.

8.      What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese

9.      What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time

10.   Why could I only give you one sly animal? Because I couldn't give two fox! (I know, I know!) Aaron was the only one who guessed this.

11.   Where do lumberjacks track their work hours? Their daily or work log

12.   Why was the math textbook sad? It had too many problems

13.   What did the farmer yell at the tree that wouldn't produce any fruit? Grow a pear!

14.   What’s the only kind of photo coffee can take? A mug shot 

15.   Where are dead computer hackers buried? Decrypt

16.   What’s an astronaut’s favorite computer key? Space bar

17.   What do you call a factory that makes ‘meh’ products? A satisfactory or unsatisfactory

18.   What do you call a fake noodle? an impasta

19.   Why did the smartphone need reading glasses? It lost its contacts.

20.   When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent!





Re: #RogueRiddle 1029 -- Happy Father's Day! #RogueRiddle

Erika Ettin
 

Update time! Six competitors, and Kirk is way out front!! So far, #14 is the only one that no one has gotten, though I do like "instant" as an alternate answer. Hint: What do you use to drink coffee?

Aaron Fasal - 6 kills
One Sagan 6
Jim Ertner - 9 
Lars Hanson - 10
Doug - 10
Kirk Miller - 16

Feel free to keep submitting!




On Sun, Jun 21, 2020 at 2:08 PM Erika Gayle Ettin <erikagettin@...> wrote:

In honor of Father’s Day today, we’re going to celebrate some “pop culture.” Below are 20 dad jokes. That’s right, folks. Real groaners. I set up the joke, and you give the punchline. I have a punchline for each that is “correct,” but if you happen to come up with one that works equally well or better, I’ll count it as a kill. Ready, set, dad joke! (Please submit by 8 PM EDT on Tuesday.) Thanks for playing!

- Erika

1.      When is a door no longer a door?

2.      Which of the Great Lakes is the creepiest?

3.      Why do lawyers drink too much?

4.      Your love means nothing to me. Why?

5.      Why did the ghost take the elevator?

6.      What did one shape ask the other when it repaid its loan?

7.      Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?

8.      What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

9.      What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

10.   Why could I only give you one sly animal?

11.   Where do lumberjacks track their work hours?

12.   Why was the math textbook sad?

13.   What did the farmer yell at the tree that wouldn't produce any fruit?

14.   What’s the only kind of photo coffee can take?

15.   Where are dead computer hackers buried?

16.   What’s an astronaut’s favorite computer key?

17.   What do you call a factory that makes ‘meh’ products?

18.   What do you call a fake noodle?

19.   Why did the smartphone need reading glasses?

20.   When does a joke become a dad joke?


#RogueRiddle 1029 -- Happy Father's Day! #RogueRiddle

Erika Ettin
 

In honor of Father’s Day today, we’re going to celebrate some “pop culture.” Below are 20 dad jokes. That’s right, folks. Real groaners. I set up the joke, and you give the punchline. I have a punchline for each that is “correct,” but if you happen to come up with one that works equally well or better, I’ll count it as a kill. Ready, set, dad joke! (Please submit by 8 PM EDT on Tuesday.) Thanks for playing!

- Erika

1.      When is a door no longer a door?

2.      Which of the Great Lakes is the creepiest?

3.      Why do lawyers drink too much?

4.      Your love means nothing to me. Why?

5.      Why did the ghost take the elevator?

6.      What did one shape ask the other when it repaid its loan?

7.      Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?

8.      What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

9.      What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

10.   Why could I only give you one sly animal?

11.   Where do lumberjacks track their work hours?

12.   Why was the math textbook sad?

13.   What did the farmer yell at the tree that wouldn't produce any fruit?

14.   What’s the only kind of photo coffee can take?

15.   Where are dead computer hackers buried?

16.   What’s an astronaut’s favorite computer key?

17.   What do you call a factory that makes ‘meh’ products?

18.   What do you call a fake noodle?

19.   Why did the smartphone need reading glasses?

20.   When does a joke become a dad joke?


#RogueRiddle 1029... three hour warning! #RogueRiddle

Erika Ettin
 

Just a heads up! 


Re: name change

joseph h
 

Stung by the immense criticism they've had, Esso a decided to fund massive green energy projects; they're calling the start up investor So-Watt. Their first name idea was Raisin Current, but they thought it might raise a wrath of gripes.

An all-sexes play company recently put their works onto a DVD. Hoping for a good sale they named it Trans Acted.
Joseph
==========

An Italian pizza company has offered to buy Quaker Oaks' famous Aunt Jemima pancake mix & syrup...they will rename it "Aunt Chovy"
Doug Spector


name change

doug
 

An Italian pizza company has offered to buy Quaker Oaks' famous Aunt Jemima pancake mix & syrup...they will rename it "Aunt Chovy"
Doug Spector

--
Doug Spector


#Rogue Riddle 1028 - Easy Treesy Reveal #rogue

bill crider
 

Erika "The Arborist" Ettin got 10 of 10 and has graciously agreed to host Rogue 1029 next weekend.  Marilyn Van Driesen and Jim Ertner each solved 9 of 10.  Finally, our Learless Feeder, Gary Hallock slipped in at the end with 10 of 10. Thanks to all who played! 

Herewith, the solutions for your enjoyment:

1. In Georgia, to replace an elected official you remove the old one by im-PEACH-ment. [Clue: This tree is the symbol of Georgia]

2. Gregor McTavish is an irritating Scott who constantly assaults other people in bars. Sooner or later someone is going to SUE MAC (SUMAC) . [Clue: Riddle #3 contains a major clue to the pun of #2. This small tree is often planted for its lovely red displays. It is part of a large family of small trees and bushes which include both edible and poisonous varieties.]

3. When a lawyer approaches Mac with legal papers, he usually tells them “kiss my ASH ” [Clue: This tree is common in the northern hemisphere, and it's three-letter name makes it sound obscene. It also makes it sound like what all wood turns to when it is burned.]

4. The reason Mac is so irritable is that he constantly PINEs over lost love.  [Clue: This tree is a common evergreen which is grown as a crop and used as lumber.] 

5. Whenever Mac gets into a tussle, you can be sure everyone will stop what they are doing to CEDAR (SEE THE) fight. [Clue; This tree is also used for lumber, as well as making furniture and even lining closets because it's wood repels insects.]

6. To his credit, Mac only picks fights with guys who are bigger than himself. He would never PECAN (PICK ON) on someone smaller than himself. [Clue: This tree grows a nut which is popular for baking in pies and cookies. It is the state tree of Texas.]

7. Recently people around the country had the Covid virus, but people in New York were SYCAMORE (SICK MORE). [Clue:The large planetree is native to eastern and central north America as well as Europe ]

8. Several states never went on lockdown during the pandemic. I guess they never got the MIMOSA (MEMOS). [Clue; This lovely fragrant Japanese tree shares its name with a drink made from champagne and orange juice.]

9. Enchanted by beautiful pictures of the tropical island, I flew there for my vacation. Sadly, all the trees had been destroyed by a hurricane. What I saw in the photos was the PALM (CALM) before the storm.[Clue: What kind of tree grows on tropical islands?]

10. What tree would be the best pet? A DOGWOOD (DOG WOULD)!  [Clue: You can recognize this tree by its bark! LOL]


#Rogue RIddle 1028 - GIve-away clues #rogue

bill crider
 

Erika Gayle Ettin got seven trees right on her first try, and James Ertner chopped down seven by his second try. Can anyone do better? Or maybe Ericka and Jim can sweep all ten?

Added to the text below are what I consider give-away clues that should enable everyone to finish off these puns.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Even if you have the IQ of Forrest Gump you should be able to get these puns. They are all easy puns on common trees.  If you’re knot inclined to host, play along anyway.
Send your guesses to bill.crider at gmail.com. Don’t reply all!
`````````````````
1. In Georgia, to replace an elected official you remove the old one by im-BLANK-ment. [Clue: This tree is the symbol of Georgia]

2. Gregor McTavish is an irritating Scott who constantly assaults other people in bars. Sooner or later someone is going to BLANK BLANK. [Clue: Riddle #3 contains a major clue to the pun of #2. This small tree is often planted for its lovely red displays. It is part of a large family of small trees and bushes which include both edible and poisonous varieties.]

3. When a lawyer approaches Mac with legal papers, he usually tells them “kiss my BLANK” [Clue: This tree is common in the northern hemisphere, and it's three-letter name makes it sound obscene. It also makes it sound like what all wood turns to when it is burned.]

4. The reason Mac is so irritable is that he constantly BLANKs over lost love.  [Clue: This tree is a common evergreen which is grown as a crop and used as lumber.] 

5. Whenever Mac gets into a tussle, you can be sure everyone will stop what they are doing to BLANK fight. [Clue; This tree is also used for lumber, as well as making furniture and even lining closets because it's wood repels insects.]

6. To his credit, Mac only picks fights with guys who are bigger than himself. He would never BLANK on someone smaller than himself. [Clue: This tree grows a nut which is popular for baking in pies and cookies. It is the state tree of Texas.]

7. Recently people around the country had the Covid virus, but people in New York were BLANK. [Clue:The large planetree is native to eastern and central north America as well as Europe ]

8. Several states never went on lockdown during the pandemic. I guess they never got the BLANK. [Clue; This lovely fragrant Japanese tree shares its name with a drink made from champagne and orange juice.]

9. Enchanted by beautiful pictures of the tropical island, I flew there for my vacation. Sadly, all the trees had been destroyed by a hurricane. What I saw in the photos was the BLANK before the storm.[Clue: What kind of tree grows on tropical islands?]

10. What tree would be the best pet? A BLANK BLANK!  [Clue: You can recognize this tree by its bark! LOL]

Don't Reply All - Send answers to bill.crider at gmail.com


#Rogue RIddle 1028 - Easy Treesy #rogue

bill crider
 

Even if you have the IQ of Forrest Gump you should be able to get these puns. They are all easy puns on common trees.  If you’re knot inclined to host, play along anyway.
Send your guesses to bill.crider at gmail.com. Don’t reply all!

1. In Georgia, to replace an elected official you remove the old one by im-BLANK-ment.
2. Gregor McTavish is an irritating Scott who constantly assaults other people in bars. Sooner or later someone is going to BLANK BLANK.
3. When a lawyer approaches Mac with legal papers, he usually tells them “kiss my BLANK”
4. The reason Mac is so irritable is that he constantly BLANK over lost love.
5. Whenever Mac gets into a tussle, you can be sure everyone will stop what they are doing to BLANK fight.
6. To his credit, Mac only picks fights with guys who are bigger than himself. He would never BLANK on someone smaller than himself.
7. Recently people around the country had the Covid virus, but people in New York were BLANK.
8. Several states never went on lockdown during the pandemic. I guess they never got the BLANK.
9. Enchanted by beautiful pictures of the tropical island, I flew there for my vacation. Sadly, all the trees had been destroyed by a hurricane. What I saw in the photos was the BLANK before the storm.
10. What tree would be the best pet? A BLANK BLANK!

Don’t “Reply All”! Send guesses to bill.crider at gmail.com.  


Rogue Riddle number1027 #rogueriddle (BINGO and REVEAL) #RogueRiddle

gary hallock
 

I rounded up a fairly dismal turnout for my jinxed Rogue this week. (You might think I’d have learned this lesson by now.) I was unable to jitney one to make a clean sweep, but the players included Lars, Bill, Marilyn and Jim. Unsurprisingly, Bill did well and also was willing to claim, so the game goes again back to him. Expect him to post #1028 some time this weekend. 

For those who care, my required answers have been filled in below.

Thank you for playing,

Gary Hallock
================

Apparently I have placed too many carts before the hoards. Here it is Tuesday afternoon and I have still only received guesses from one (non-claiming) player. 

Time for me to rethink this riddle and simplify the game! 

Please note below that I have now offered you a scrambled listing of my 12 target words. In order to play/claim, you now need only match these 12 words to my 12 riddles. Is anyone even interested here? 

Gary Hallock
=============
ROGUE RIDDLE #1027 - POSTED JUNE 7, 2020 @6:42pm central time zone. 

%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%
Send all your guesses, grumps, gripes and groans directly to <gary@...>
%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%

ROGUE RIDDLE #1027 - HOARSE AND BUGGY! 

Even though the 43rd Annual O.Henry Pun-Off World Championships have been postponed, we still like to think that some sort forms of competition are still in order and will be followed. Of course most human sports have been suspended, so I thought it only appropriate that I offer a little something for people who are still interested in following teams. This sort of team, however, will never be found in the SHAY stadium but instead have come directly from the LANDAU the O.Henry Pun-Off. Time to TROT out an experimental category for our next PunSlinger competition. ***  HORSE DRAWN VEHICLES. ***

Below you will find a dozen brief riddles based on things you might find following horses. DERBY plenty more than the two clever ones and the other TANDEM ones I’ve offered. I’ve had to disCART quite a few target terms that I DENNET know how to use and were RULLEY hard to define, so I had trouble PHAETON them in. Also because GHARRY’s wit is so DRAY and my computer is already driving me BUGGY, I would NODDY-ven be able to reach a FOURGON conclusion this week. (I really need to work at a BRITSKA pace.) 

As is our usual custom, the first guesser with the most (or all) kills, wins the dubious honor of hosting/posting the Rogue next week. If you do not consider yourself a contender for this honor, please do not let this dissuade you from participating. I am mostly here to entertain you. Please prove to me that I am not KARROZZIN the line with this one.

%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%
Send all your guesses, grumps, gripes and groans directly to <gary@...>
%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%

0. - (Sample)
I have a voice assistant on my phone who helpfully assembles a listing of all my social contacts. She always elevates my closest pals in the most prominent position on the list. Yes, I call her my BLANK with the BLANK on top.

#### SIRI with the FRIENDS on top

****** Target words for riddles 1 thru 12 ******
CHAISE, CARRIAGE, SLEIGH, CHARIOT, HANSOM, OMNIBUS, HACKNEY, CHUCKWAGON, TROLLEY, CONESTOGA, TRAVOIS, BROUGHAM 

1.
At the peak of their popularity in the 1960s, the well-known husband/wife musical duo purchased a luxury boat. After they split up there was a bitter dispute about whether or not the boat had been her vessel or his. She contended that since the craft bore her name, it was a  BLANK. 
#### CHARIOT (CHER YACHT)

2.
Celebrities and athletes often are given a chance to air their political views on TV and radio, however their opinions are no more valid or relevant that those of regular folks. For example, the celebrated martial artist/actor Mr. Norris. Nobody wants to hear BLANK BLANK his tongue. 
#### CHUCK WAGON

3.
Prisoners in the penitentiary have access to cigarettes but are not allowed to smoke cigars. Guards would never allow a BLANK. 
#### CONESTOGA (CON A STOGIE) 

4. 
The world famous O.Henry Pun-Off is annually held in Austin, located in the Texas County of BLANK. This county was named after a hero of the Alamo. 
#### TRAVOIS (TRAVIS)

5.
Santa usually uses reindeer but have you ever seen him BLANK a dragon?
#### SLEIGH

6.
People are constantly running down my horse cart and its depressing. I find this type of trash talk to be quite dis-BLANK-ing and often makes me sulky.
#### CARRIAGE

7.
Male pig siblings would make the perfect passengers for riding in a BLANK. 
#### BROUGHAM

8.
This may seem dated, but I find jokes about physical attacks on Nancy Kerrigan to be somewhat BLANK’d.
#### HACKNEY

9.
If you asked me to list my favorite silent film actors, I would have to put BLANK Chaplin at the top. 
#### TROLLEY

10.
The couple was looking for transport but it ended up being a wild goose BLANK.
#### CHAISE

11.
You can ride in a taxi or the subway but you wont find me traveling in either of those. Me? BLANK!
#### OMNIBUS (I’m in a bus)

12. 
Passing the cab stand, she was always searching for a husband from among the drivers. She was sure she could find one who was tall, dark BLANK-what wealthy.
#### HANSOM 

%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%
Send all your guesses, grumps, gripes and groans directly to <gary@...>
%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%



--
Gary (Immodest Moderator) Hallock, Leerless Feeder