Date   

Re: FAST #37 -- Clue #2

doug
 

Lars,
 
your email keeps kicking back
Doug
===============
 

In a message dated 9/3/2014 6:08:21 A.M. Central Daylight Time, puny@... writes:
 

All,

    Still no guesses.  Thought this one would be easier than this.

Clue #2:  When glue sets up or dries, what does it do?  What happens to it?

    This riddle adheres to the theme, by the way.

    Aloha,

       Lars

On Sep 2, 2014 8:05 PM, "Lars Hanson" <parkersan2001@...> wrote:
All, 

    No guesses yet so here is Clue #1 for FAST #37

    Might some informal regulation be what made the glue dry too soon?

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

    No matter what precautions or procedures the carpenter tried, the glue he used always set up before he could assemble whatever he was trying to put together.  It seemed to him that there was some BLANK BLANK BLANK which kept him from completing things.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

    Once you have set your mind on some answers, stick them in an e-mail envelope and send them to me directly at:


    Do not just stick your finger on Reply.
 
  
    Aloha,

        Lars


Re: FAST #37 -- Clue #2

Lars Hanson
 

All,

    Still no guesses.  Thought this one would be easier than this.

Clue #2:  When glue sets up or dries, what does it do?  What happens to it?

    This riddle adheres to the theme, by the way.

    Aloha,

       Lars

On Sep 2, 2014 8:05 PM, "Lars Hanson" <parkersan2001@...> wrote:
All, 

    No guesses yet so here is Clue #1 for FAST #37

    Might some informal regulation be what made the glue dry too soon?

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

    No matter what precautions or procedures the carpenter tried, the glue he used always set up before he could assemble whatever he was trying to put together.  It seemed to him that there was some BLANK BLANK BLANK which kept him from completing things.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

    Once you have set your mind on some answers, stick them in an e-mail envelope and send them to me directly at:


    Do not just stick your finger on Reply.
 
  
    Aloha,

        Lars


Re: FAST #37 -- Clue #1

Lars Hanson
 

All, 

    No guesses yet so here is Clue #1 for FAST #37

    Might some informal regulation be what made the glue dry too soon?

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

    No matter what precautions or procedures the carpenter tried, the glue he used always set up before he could assemble whatever he was trying to put together.  It seemed to him that there was some BLANK BLANK BLANK which kept him from completing things.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

    Once you have set your mind on some answers, stick them in an e-mail envelope and send them to me directly at:


    Do not just stick your finger on Reply.
 
  
    Aloha,

        Lars


Re: FAST #37 -- CORRECTED

Lars Hanson
 

All,

    Herewith FAST #37 -- with a slight correction.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

    No matter what precautions or procedures the carpenter tried, the glue he used always set up before he could assemble whatever he was trying to put together.  It seemed to him that there was some BLANK BLANK BLANK which kept him from completing things.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

    Once you have set your mind on some answers, stick them in an e-mail envelope and send them to me directly at:

parkesan2001@...

    Do not just stick your finger on Reply.
 
    Aloha,

        Lars


On Tue, Sep 2, 2014 at 4:52 PM, Lars Hanson <parkersan2001@...> wrote:
All,

    Herewith FAST #37

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

    No matter what precautions or procedures the carpenter tried, the glue he used always set up before he could assemble whatever he was trying to put together.  It seemed to him that there was some BLANK BLANK which kept him from completing things.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

    Once you have set your mind on some answers, stick them in an e-mail envelope and send them to me directly at:


    Do not just stick your finger on Reply.
 
    Aloha,

        Lars



--
    Aloha,

        Lars


FAST #37

Lars Hanson
 

All,

    Herewith FAST #37

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

    No matter what precautions or procedures the carpenter tried, the glue he used always set up before he could assemble whatever he was trying to put together.  It seemed to him that there was some BLANK BLANK which kept him from completing things.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

    Once you have set your mind on some answers, stick them in an e-mail envelope and send them to me directly at:


    Do not just stick your finger on Reply.
 
    Aloha,

        Lars


FAST RIDDLE #36 (bingo)

gary hallock
 

The constantly-on-theme FAST RIDDLE #36

( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )

The dim-witted moron was learning how to use the controls on his DVD player. He popped in a disc and began to watch but was annoyed by having to read the FBI warning etc. He glanced at some of the buttons on the controller and began to ponder.  After scratching his head for a moment he thought he'd figured out how to get what he wanted. As though the remote were a microphone, he shouted into it, "RUSH, SPEEDY, HURRY, RAPID!" ~ How had he interpreted the label on the remote button?

( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )

It didn't take Lars long to recognize that the "moron" was thinking...

#### FAST FOUR WORDS

Thank you for playing,

Gary Hallock


FAST RIDDLE #36

gary hallock
 

The constantly-on-theme FAST RIDDLE #36

( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )
Submit all guesses, gasps, gripes & groans directly to <gary@...>
( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )

The dim-witted moron was learning how to use the controls on his DVD player. He popped in a disc and began to watch but was annoyed by having to read the FBI warning etc. He glanced at some of the buttons on the controller and began to ponder.  After scratching his head for a moment he thought he'd figured out how to get what he wanted. As though the remote were a microphone, he shouted into it, "RUSH, SPEEDY, HURRY, RAPID!" ~ How had he interpreted the label on the remote button?

( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )
Submit all guesses, gasps, gripes & groans directly to <gary@...>
( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )-0-( )


Re: FAST #35 Hint 2 BINGO!

doug
 

Well after 2nd hit, we got lots of action...sorry thought this riddle was easier.
 
Several swings and close misses from, Jim,St    an and Lars but Gary snuck in front with
 
BAND NEWS TRAVELS FAST
 
 
TYFP
 
Doug S.
=================

Hint 2: 1st Blank is not good and  2nd BLANK is news to me
 
 
======================
 
 
No guesses? thought this would go FAST.  Speaking of FAST, that's the last word, I'm happy to "report"
 
 
==============
These days there seems to be a cable channel for everything. Now they even have one strictly for up to the minute unfavorable gossip and other negative information about musical groups only. Their motto is BLANK BLANK BLANK BLANK
 
(hint: stay on theme)


Re: FAST #35 Hint 2 give-away

doug
 

 
 
Hint 2: 1st Blank is not good and  2nd BLANK is news to me
 
 
======================
 
 
No guesses? thought this would go FAST.  Speaking of FAST, that's the last word, I'm happy to "report"

 
 
==============
These days there seems to be a cable channel for everything. Now they even have one strictly for up to the minute unfavorable gossip and other negative information about musical groups only. Their motto is BLANK BLANK BLANK BLANK
 
(hint: stay on theme)


Re: FAST #35 Hint 1

doug
 

No guesses? thought this would go FAST.  Speaking of FAST, that's the last word, I'm happy to "report"
 
 
==============
These days there seems to be a cable channel for everything. Now they even have one strictly for up to the minute unfavorable gossip and other negative information about musical groups only. Their motto is BLANK BLANK BLANK BLANK
 
(hint: stay on theme)


Re: FAST #35

doug
 

These days there seems to be a cable channel for everything. Now they even have one strictly for up to the minute unfavorable gossip and other negative information about musical groups only. Their motto is BLANK BLANK BLANK BLANK
 
(hint: stay on theme)
 
cinder guesses and hunches fast: doug10101@...


FAST #34 -- BINGO

Lars Hanson
 

All,

    Jim Ertner was the first to respond, and then Stan and Doug quickly got the phrase to be punned.

    However, it was Doug who recognized that, more specifically, the offending team had been PULLING A FAST JUAN with their entry.

    Doug will post FAST #35

    Aloha,

        Lars

===================================

On Tue, Sep 2, 2014 at 6:08 AM, Lars Hanson <parkersan2001@...> wrote:

All,

    Herewith the back on theme, back on schedule FAST Riddle #34.

<><><><><><><><>

    Two local running clubs have competed against each other every year just for fun.  However, this year one of the clubs decided to try a little subterfuge to win.  They inserted an Olympic-class Latin American runner who was not a club member into their roster.  The ruse was quickly detected and the other club quite rightly accused the first club of what? (Four words)

<><><><><><><><><>

    Remember to stay in your lane and pace your guesses.  Take steps to ensure they only go to me at:

        parkersan2001@...

    Please do not hit Reply.

    Aloha,

        Lars

======================




--
    Aloha,

        Lars


Re: minor sports punning <repaired again>

Lars Hanson
 

All,

    Correctly repairing this thread appears to be a real challenge.  As each one attempts to repair the thread, others are doing the same, and still more comments are being missed.

    Aloha,

        Lars




On Mon, Sep 1, 2014 at 8:09 PM, Stanley Kegel stankegel@... [puny] <puny@...> wrote:
 


While a wrestler may gain an advantage by squeezing his opponent, only I bridge player has the ability to defeat his opponent when defeat appears to be inevitable by a well executed squeeze of the opponent.

Stan

= = = = = =

I think a contest between two people to fill up a coal bin the fastest is a miner” sport.

Little League baseball is a true minor sport.

Bert

= = = = =
Cyn, 

That kid in Prague left his queen to be sacrificed so that he was in position to Czech mate. I guess that proves that sex is uber alles..

Stan

= = = = = = = = = = =

Little kids in Prague love to shout "King me!" when they reach the last row with their Czech cars.

Cyn

= = = = =

This very naughty one isn't original, but I can't resist passing it on.  In weightlifting, there are two types of events:  the clean and jerk, and the (punch line below):


Supposedly during the Olympic weightlifting competitions some years back, an announcer who was covering the women's events said about a Bulgarian woman:  "I saw her snatch last night and believe me - it was amazing!"  (The snatch is the other event.)

However, most of these supposedly true bloopers or inadvertent puns have been shown to be urban legends, not actually attested quotes.

Charles

= = = = =

Limbo experts love to play pole low.

Cyn

= = = = =

Mountain climber retires -- peaks at 60
 
Chess players pull an all knighter
 
Billiard player get snookered
 
Lumberjack competitor makes it to final cut
 
Olympic blade runner defeated 
 
Hot dog eating champion can't cut the mustard
 
Doug S.
=================
 
Boxer wrestles over judges decision  
Unable to unloose hand, bull rider goes around in circles
 
Winning upcoming rifle tournament-- a long shot
 
Cocky surfer waves
 
Archer bows out of competition
 
Horseshoe champion dead ringer to win
 
Losing swimmer drowns in tears
 
Nascar driver exhausted
 
Boy scout master finally ties the knot
 
Pitcher intentionally throws game
 
Depressed diver sinks to all-time low
 
 
Doug S.
===========================
 
HIGH JUMPER FLOPS IN BID FOR GOLD MEDAL.

Stan

= = = = = = = = = = =

CHESSMASTER PAWNS MEDALS AFTER MULTIPLE CHECKS BOUNCE,

Stan

= = = = = = = = = =

Champion's Hopes for Repeat Gold Medal in Uncommon Racquet Ball Sport Squashed

Charles

=========================! ===========
The losing golf player used course language.

The winning hockey player was told by his wife to pucker up.

Jim
 
=========================
KARATE BLACK BELT KICKED OUT OF STADIUM

FRISBIE CHA MPIONSHIP STILL UP IN THE AIR 

SPECTATORS RIOT AFTER SURFERS HANG TEN

Stan

= = = = = = = = = =

On hearing about the upcoming competition, the weightlifter dropped everything
 
Doug S.
==============
Bid for skating medal is on thi! n ice

Volleyball league: Here are the net results

Cyn

= = = = = 

Lacrosse players have stick-to-it-iveness.

Jim
==========================
 
BOWLERS GO ON STRIKE
Doug S.
===========
Good ones, Cyn!

Bass Championship Anglers Can Get Hooked on Their Sport

Charles

=================================

MINI GOLF COMES UP SHORT
TENNIS PLAYER COMES UNSTRUNG
PHOTOG: "BADMINTON PLAYERS DON'T SMILE FOR THE BIRDIE"
ACROBAT'S ANTICS ARE JUST GYM DANDY
Cyn 
= = = =
This is seriou s:  I saw a few minutes ago a news story about championships in minor sports.  It mentioned the national yo-yo championship, and had the caption "Yo-Yo Competitors Have the World on a String."  (We need to get whoever wrote that to join our list serve.) Anyway, I can think of possible headlines:

"Curling Competitors Have to Put Their Careers on Ice"
"Fencing Competitors Aim to Foil Their Opponents' Plans"

Anyone else?

Charles






--
    Aloha,

        Lars


Minor Sports Punning - (REPAIRED)

Lars Hanson
 

 

For an article reporting on an affair between a scertain sports enthusiast and a Sports Illustrated model, the magazine headline asked,  “Will Long-Distance Runner Marry Thong?”


"Winning Golfer Told to 'Putter There!'"


"Championship Golfers Chip away At Title"


"Championship Golfers Driven"


"Champion NASCAR Driver Laps Up Praise"


"Losing Archery Team Remains Unbowed"

 

Lars

 

=====================

 

Limbo experts love to play pole low.

 

Cyn

 

= = = = =

 

"Fencers saber the competition"

"New epee as you go plan for fencing"

"After a close brush, Canadian curlers slide into first place"

"Curling now permanent competition"

"Race-walking competitors hit their stride"

Lars

==============

 

HIGH JUMPER FLOPS IN BID FOR GOLD MEDAL.

 

Stan

 

= = = = = = = = = = =

 

Champion's Hopes for Repeat Gold Medal in Uncommon Racquet Ball Sport Squashed

 

Charles

 

====================================


The losing golf player used course language.

 

The winning hockey player was told by his wife to pucker up.

 

Jim

 

=========================

 

This very naughty one isn't original, but I can't resist passing it on.  In weightlifting, there are two types of events:  the clean and jerk, and the (punch line below):

 

Supposedly during the Olympic weightlifting competitions some years back, an announcer who was covering the women's events said about a Bulgarian woman:  "I saw her snatch last night and believe me - it was amazing!"  (The snatch is the other event.)

 

However, most of these supposedly true bloopers or inadvertent puns have been shown to be urban legends, not actually attested quotes.

 

Charles

 

=================================

 

Mountain climber retires -- peaks at 60

 

Chess players pull an all knighter

 

Billiard player get snookered

 

Lumberjack competitor makes it to final cut

 

Olympic blade runner defeated 

 

Hot dog eating champion can't cut the mustard

 

Doug S.

 

===========================

 

Boxer wrestles over judges' decision

 

Unable to unloose hand, bull rider goes around in circles

 

Winning upcoming rifle tournament-- a long shot

 

Cocky surfer waves

 

Archer bows out of competition

 

Horseshoe champion dead ringer to win

 

Losing swimmer drowns in tears

 

Nascar driver exhausted

 

Boy scout master finally ties the knot

 

Pitcher intentionally throws game

 

Depressed diver sinks to all-time low

 

Doug S.

 

===========================

 

HIGH JUMPER FLOPS IN BID FOR GOLD MEDAL.

 

Stan

 

= = = = = = = = = = =

 

CHESSMASTER PAWNS MEDALS AFTER MULTIPLE CHECKS BOUNCE,

 

Stan

 

= = = = = = = = = =

 

Champion's Hopes for Repeat Gold Medal in Uncommon Racquet Ball Sport Squashed

 

Charles

 

====================================


The losing golf player used course language.

 

The winning hockey player was told by his wife to pucker up.

 

Jim

 

=========================


KARATE BLACK BELT KICKED OUT OF STADIUM

 

FRISBIE CHA MPIONSHIP STILL UP IN THE AIR 

 

SPECTATORS RIOT AFTER SURFERS HANG TEN

 

Stan

 

= = = = = = = = = =

 

 

 

On hearing about the upcoming competition, the weightlifter dropped everything

 

Doug S.


===========================

Bid for skating medal is on thin ice

Volleyball league: Here are the net results

 

Cyn

 

= = = = = 

 

Lacrosse players have stick-to-it-iveness.

 

Jim

 

==========================

 

BOWLERS GO ON STRIKE

 

Doug S.

 

==================


Good ones, Cyn!

 

Bass Championship Anglers Can Get Hooked on Their Sport

 

Charles


==================


MINI GOLF COMES UP SHORT


TENNIS PLAYER COMES UNSTRUNG


PHOTOG: "BADMINTON PLAYERS DON'T SMILE FOR THE BIRDIE"


ACROBAT'S ANTICS ARE JUST GYM DANDY


Cyn 


==================


This is serious:  I saw a few minutes ago a news story about championships in minor sports.  It mentioned the national yo-yo championship, and had the caption "Yo-Yo Competitors Have the World on a String."  (We need to get whoever wrote that to join our list serve.) Anyway, I can think of possible headlines:

 

"Curling Competitors Have to Put Their Careers on Ice"

 

"Fencing Competitors Aim to Foil Their Opponents' Plans"

 

Anyone else?

 

Charles


Re: minor sports punning

Lars Hanson
 

"Fencers saber the competition"

"New epee as you go plan for fencing"

"After a close brush, Canadian curlers slide into first place"

"Curling now permanent competition"

"Race-walking competitors hit their stride"

Lars

==============

On Sep 1, 2014 10:40 AM, "chasmwuk@... [puny]" <puny@...> wrote:
 

This is serious:  I saw a few minutes ago a news story about championships in minor sports.  It mentioned the national yo-yo championship, and had the caption "Yo-Yo Competitors Have the World on a String."  (We need to get whoever wrote that to join our list serve.) Anyway, I can think of possible headlines:


"Curling Competitors Have to Put Their Careers on Ice"
"Fencing Competitors Aim to Foil Their Opponents' Plans"

Anyone else?

Charles


Re: FAST #34

Lars Hanson
 

All,

    N.B.  The answer to this riddle does not call for the name of any specific runner, although a name is involved.

    Aloha,

        Lars

===================

On Sep 2, 2014 6:08 AM, "Lars Hanson" <parkersan2001@...> wrote:

All,

    Herewith the back on theme, back on schedule FAST Riddle #34.

<><><><><><><><>

    Two local running clubs have competed against each other every year just for fun.  However, this year one of the clubs decided to try a little subterfuge to win.  They inserted an Olympic-class Latin American runner who was not a club member into their roster.  The ruse was quickly detected and the other club quite rightly accused the first club of what? (Four words)

<><><><><><><><><>

    Remember to stay in your lane and pace your guesses.  Take steps to ensure the only go to me at:

        parkersan2001@...

    Please do not hit Reply.

    Aloha,

        Lars

======================


FAST #34

Lars Hanson
 

All,

    Herewith the back on theme, back on schedule FAST Riddle #34.

<><><><><><><><>

    Two local running clubs have competed against each other every year just for fun.  However, this year one of the clubs decided to try a little subterfuge to win.  They inserted an Olympic-class Latin American runner who was not a club member into their roster.  The ruse was quickly detected and the other club quite rightly accused the first club of what? (Four words)

<><><><><><><><><>

    Remember to stay in your lane and pace your guesses.  Take steps to ensure the only go to me at:

        parkersan2001@...

    Please do not hit Reply.

    Aloha,

        Lars

======================


No Rules Riddle #4xP& (Binxgo to Stan)

gary hallock
 

And the answer is…

#### BERMUDA TRIANGLE

What was the question?

Submit your questions directly to Gary Hallock for consideration. The most creative (or logical) response wins nothing.

<gary@...>

=============

The offerings were as follows…

Cyn - What is the favorite percussion instrument of the residents of Hamilton*?  (*capital of Bermuda)

Alex - What do you get if you cut a pair of walking shorts (that end 1 inch above the knee) from the uppermost right seam to the medial side of the right leg, and then again from the uppermost left seam to the medial side of the left leg?

Charles - WHAT DO YOU CALL A THREE-WAY KINKY RELATIONSHIP INVOLVING PEOPLE WHO HAVE A FETISH FOR STYLISH DRESS SHORTS?

Chris G. - Where was one all "atwitter" to find the path of Hurricane Cristobal this past week?

Stan K. - What is the most popular bathing suit in the Islands off of the U. S. East Coast?

Stan K. - Cameltoes are most frequently seen in women wearing what?

Lars. -  How are field hands called in for chow in Hamilton?

=================

Since Cyn and Lars both played on essentially the same instrument, the tie goes to Stan for the delicious image his suggestion of camel toes conjured up in my mind. 

Thank you for playing,

Gary Hallock


Re: minor sports punning <repaired again>

Stanley Kegel
 


While a wrestler may gain an advantage by squeezing his opponent, only I bridge player has the ability to defeat his opponent when defeat appears to be inevitable by a well executed squeeze of the opponent.

Stan

= = = = = =

I think a contest between two people to fill up a coal bin the fastest is a miner” sport.

Little League baseball is a true minor sport.

Bert

= = = = =
Cyn, 

That kid in Prague left his queen to be sacrificed so that he was in position to Czech mate. I guess that proves that sex is uber alles..

Stan

= = = = = = = = = = =

Little kids in Prague love to shout "King me!" when they reach the last row with their Czech cars.

Cyn

= = = = =

This very naughty one isn't original, but I can't resist passing it on.  In weightlifting, there are two types of events:  the clean and jerk, and the (punch line below):


Supposedly during the Olympic weightlifting competitions some years back, an announcer who was covering the women's events said about a Bulgarian woman:  "I saw her snatch last night and believe me - it was amazing!"  (The snatch is the other event.)

However, most of these supposedly true bloopers or inadvertent puns have been shown to be urban legends, not actually attested quotes.

Charles

= = = = =

Limbo experts love to play pole low.

Cyn

= = = = =

Mountain climber retires -- peaks at 60
 
Chess players pull an all knighter
 
Billiard player get snookered
 
Lumberjack competitor makes it to final cut
 
Olympic blade runner defeated 
 
Hot dog eating champion can't cut the mustard
 
Doug S.
=================
 
Boxer wrestles over judges decision  
Unable to unloose hand, bull rider goes around in circles
 
Winning upcoming rifle tournament-- a long shot
 
Cocky surfer waves
 
Archer bows out of competition
 
Horseshoe champion dead ringer to win
 
Losing swimmer drowns in tears
 
Nascar driver exhausted
 
Boy scout master finally ties the knot
 
Pitcher intentionally throws game
 
Depressed diver sinks to all-time low
 
 
Doug S.
===========================
 
HIGH JUMPER FLOPS IN BID FOR GOLD MEDAL.

Stan

= = = = = = = = = = =

CHESSMASTER PAWNS MEDALS AFTER MULTIPLE CHECKS BOUNCE,

Stan

= = = = = = = = = =

Champion's Hopes for Repeat Gold Medal in Uncommon Racquet Ball Sport Squashed

Charles

=========================! ===========
The losing golf player used course language.

The winning hockey player was told by his wife to pucker up.

Jim
 
=========================
KARATE BLACK BELT KICKED OUT OF STADIUM

FRISBIE CHA MPIONSHIP STILL UP IN THE AIR 

SPECTATORS RIOT AFTER SURFERS HANG TEN

Stan

= = = = = = = = = =

On hearing about the upcoming competition, the weightlifter dropped everything
 
Doug S.
==============
Bid for skating medal is on thi! n ice

Volleyball league: Here are the net results

Cyn

= = = = = 

Lacrosse players have stick-to-it-iveness.

Jim
==========================
 
BOWLERS GO ON STRIKE
Doug S.
===========
Good ones, Cyn!

Bass Championship Anglers Can Get Hooked on Their Sport

Charles

=================================

MINI GOLF COMES UP SHORT
TENNIS PLAYER COMES UNSTRUNG
PHOTOG: "BADMINTON PLAYERS DON'T SMILE FOR THE BIRDIE"
ACROBAT'S ANTICS ARE JUST GYM DANDY
Cyn 
= = = =
This is seriou s:  I saw a few minutes ago a news story about championships in minor sports.  It mentioned the national yo-yo championship, and had the caption "Yo-Yo Competitors Have the World on a String."  (We need to get whoever wrote that to join our list serve.) Anyway, I can think of possible headlines:

"Curling Competitors Have to Put Their Careers on Ice"
"Fencing Competitors Aim to Foil Their Opponents' Plans"

Anyone else?

Charles




Re: minor sports punning <repaired>

Stan Kegel
 

Cyn,

That kid in Prague left his queen to be sacrificed so that he was in position to Czech mate. I guess that proves that sex is uber alles..

Stan

= = = = = = = = = = =

Little kids in Prague love to shout "King me!" when they reach the last row with their Czech cars.

Cyn



= = = = =

This very naughty one isn't original, but I can't resist passing it on. In weightlifting, there are two types of events: the clean and jerk, and the (punch line below):


Supposedly during the Olympic weightlifting competitions some years back, an announcer who was covering the women's events said about a Bulgarian woman: "I saw her snatch last night and believe me - it was amazing!" (The snatch is the other event.)

However, most of these supposedly true bloopers or inadvertent puns have been shown to be urban legends, not actually attested quotes.

Charles

= = = = =

Limbo experts love to play pole low.

Cyn

= = = = =

Mountain climber retires -- peaks at 60

Chess players pull an all knighter

Billiard player get snookered

Lumberjack competitor makes it to final cut

Olympic blade runner defeated

Hot dog eating champion can't cut the mustard

Doug S.
=================


Boxer wrestles over judges' decision

Unable to unloose hand, bull rider goes around in circles

Winning upcoming rifle tournament-- a long shot

Cocky surfer waves

Archer bows out of competition

Horseshoe champion dead ringer to win

Losing swimmer drowns in tears

Nascar driver exhausted

Boy scout master finally ties the knot

Pitcher intentionally throws game

Depressed diver sinks to all-time low


Doug S.
===========================




HIGH JUMPER FLOPS IN BID FOR GOLD MEDAL.

Stan

= = = = = = = = = = =


CHESSMASTER PAWNS MEDALS AFTER MULTIPLE CHECKS BOUNCE,

Stan

= = = = = = = = = =


Champion's Hopes for Repeat Gold Medal in Uncommon Racquet Ball Sport Squashed

Charles

=========================! ===========
The losing golf player used course language.

The winning hockey player was told by his wife to pucker up.

Jim

=========================
KARATE BLACK BELT KICKED OUT OF STADIUM

FRISBIE CHA MPIONSHIP STILL UP IN THE AIR

SPECTATORS RIOT AFTER SURFERS HANG TEN

Stan

= = = = = = = = = =



On hearing about the upcoming competition, the weightlifter dropped everything

Doug S.
==============
Bid for skating medal is on thi! n ice

Volleyball league: Here are the net results

Cyn

= = = = =

Lacrosse players have stick-to-it-iveness.

Jim
==========================

[Unable to display image]


BOWLERS GO ON STRIKE
Doug S.
===========
Good ones, Cyn!

Bass Championship Anglers Can Get Hooked on Their Sport

Charles


=================================

[Unable to display image]

MINI GOLF COMES UP SHORT
TENNIS PLAYER COMES UNSTRUNG
PHOTOG: "BADMINTON PLAYERS DON'T SMILE FOR THE BIRDIE"
ACROBAT'S ANTICS ARE JUST GYM DANDY

Cyn
= = = =
This is seriou s: I saw a few minutes ago a news story about championships in minor sports. It mentioned the national yo-yo championship, and had the caption "Yo-Yo Competitors Have the World on a String." (We need to get whoever wrote that to join our list serve.) Anyway, I can think of possible headlines:

"Curling Competitors Have to Put Their Careers on Ice"
"Fencing Competitors Aim to Foil Their Opponents' Plans"

Anyone else?

Charles

Begin forwarded message:

From: "doug10101@aol.com [ puny]" <puny@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: Re: [puny] minor sports punning
Date:&n! bsp;September 1, 2014 at 8:33:59 AM PDT
To: puny@yahoogroups.com, PUNY@yahoogroups.com
Reply-To: puny@yahoogroups.com



On hearing about the upcoming competition, the weightlifter dropped everything

Doug S.
==============
Bid for skating medal is on thin ice

Volleyball league: Here are the net results

Cyn

= = = = =

Lacrosse players have stick-to-it-iveness.

Jim
==========================



BOWLERS GO ON STRIKE
Doug S.
===========
Good ones, Cyn!

Bass Championship Anglers Can Get Hooked on Their Sport

Charles


=================================


MINI GOLF COMES UP SHORT
TENNIS PLAYER COMES UNSTRUNG
PHOTOG: "BADMINTON PLAYERS DON'T SMILE FOR THE BIRDIE"
ACROBAT'S ANTICS ARE JUST GYM DANDY

Cyn
= = = =
This is serious: I saw a few minutes ago a news story about championships in minor sports. It mentioned the national yo-yo championship, and had the caption "Yo-Yo Competitors Have the World on a String." (We need to get whoever wrote that to join our list serve.) Anyway, I can think of possible headlines:

"Curling Competitors Have to Put Their Careers on Ice"
"Fencing Competitors Aim to Foil Their Opponents' Plans"

Anyone else?

Charles

Begin forwarded message:

From: "doug10101@aol.com [puny]" <puny@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: Re: [puny] minor sports punning
Date: September 1, 2014 at 8:33:59 AM PDT
To: puny@yahoogroups.com,&n bsp;PUNY@yahoogroups.com
Reply-To: puny@yahoogroups.com



On hearing about the upcoming competition, the weightlifter dropped everything

Doug S.
==============
Bid for skating medal is on thin ice
Volleyball league: Here are the net results

Cyn

= = = = =

Lacrosse players have stick-to-it-iveness.

Jim
==========================



BOWLERS GO ON STRIKE
Doug S.
===========
Good ones, Cyn!

Bass Championship Anglers Can Get Hooked on Their Sport

Charles


=================================


MINI GOLF COMES UP SHORT
TENNIS PLAYER COMES UNSTRUNG/ font>
PHOTOG: "BADMINTON PLAYERS DON'T SMILE FOR THE BIRDIE"
ACROBAT'S ANTICS ARE JUST GYM DANDY

Cyn
= = = =
This is serious: I saw a few minutes ago a news story about championships in minor sports. It mentioned the national yo-yo championship, and had the caption "Yo-Yo Competitors Have the World on a String." (We need to get whoever wrote that to join our list serve.) Anyway, I can think of possible headlines:

"Curling Competitor s Have to Put Their Careers on Ice"
"Fencing Competitors Aim to Foil Their Opponents' Plans"

Anyone else?

Charles

Begin forwarded message:

From: "doug10101@aol.com [puny]" <puny@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: Re: [puny] minor sports punning
Date: September 1, 2014 at 8:33:59 AM PDT
To: puny@yahoogroups.com, PUNY@yahoogroups.com
Reply-To: puny@yahoogroups.com

On hearing about the upcoming competition, the weightlifter dropped everything

Doug S.
==============
Bid for skating medal is on thin ice

Volleyball league: Here are the net results

Cyn

= = = = =

Lacrosse players have stick-to-it-iveness.

Jim
==========================



BOWLERS GO ON STRIKE
Doug S.
===========
Good ones, Cyn!

Bass Championship Anglers Can Get Hooked on Their Sport

Charles


========================! =========


MINI GOLF COMES UP SHORT
TENNIS PLAYER COMES UNSTRUNG
PHOTOG: "BADMINTON PLAYERS DON'T SMILE FOR THE BIRDIE"
ACROBAT'S ANTICS ARE JUST GYM DANDY

Cyn
= = = =
This is serious: I saw a few minutes ag o a news story about championships in minor sports. It mentioned the national yo-yo championship, and had the caption "Yo-Yo Competitors Have the World on a String." (We need to get whoever wrote that to join our list serve.) Anyway, I can think of possible headlines:

"Curling Competitors Have to Put Their Careers on Ice"
"Fencing Competitors Aim to Foil Their Opponents' Plans"

Anyone else?

! Charles
Begin forwarded message:

From: "doug10101@aol.com [puny]" <puny@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: Re: [puny] minor sports punning
Date: September 1, 2014 at 8:33:59 AM PDT
To: puny@yahoogroups.com, PUNY@yahoogroups.com
Reply-To: puny@yahoogroups.com



On hearing about the upcoming competition, the weightlifter dropped everything

Doug S.
==============
Bid for skating medal is on thin ice

Volleyball league: Here are the net results

Cyn

= = = = =

Lacrosse players have stick-to-it-iveness.

Jim
==========================



BOWLERS GO ON STRIKE
Doug S.
===========
Good ones, Cyn!

Bass Championship Anglers Can Get Hooked on Their Sport

Charles


=================================


MINI GOLF COMES UP SHORT
TENNIS PLAYER COMES UNSTRUNG
PHOTOG: "BADMINTON PLAYERS DON'T SMILE FOR THE BIRDIE"
ACROBAT'S ANTICS ARE JUST GYM DANDY

Cyn
= = = =
This is serious: I saw a few minutes ago a news story about championships in minor sports. It mentioned the national yo-yo championship, and had the caption "Yo-Yo Competitors Have the World on a String." (We need to get whoever wrote that to join our list serve.) Anyway, I can think of possible headlines:

"Curling Competitors Have to Put Their Careers on Ice"
"Fencing Competitors Aim to Foil T heir Opponents' Plans"

Anyone else?

Charles

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