Date   

#RogueRiddle 1032 -- One-hour warning! #RogueRiddle

Erika Ettin
 

Friends and fellow word nerds,

This week's Rogue will be arriving in one hour. Put your pun-pants on and get ready to eat your veggies!

Riddled with excitement,
Erika

image.png


#RogueRiddle 1031 - BINGO & REVEAL #RogueRiddle

gary hallock
 

Once again I’ve left you languishing through the long week wondering when/if I was going to finally announce a winner and reveal the answers. Well, here we are at the eleventh hour and I’m happy to report that not only did we entertain and intrigue at least 7 players this week, but nearly every one of them eventually came through with a full dozen properly completed matches. Several players, in fact presented a “perfect sweep” on their first volley. At the top of that group was Erika Ettin, whose worksheet came in very early and boldly offered to claim the prize.

For anyone who is still pondering this puzzle or wishes to share or cherish it, I have shuffled in the answers below.

Participants this week, all of whom are real winners, were as follows.

ERIKA ETTIN
JIM ERTNER
MARILY VAN DRIESEN
LARS HANSON
DOUG SPECTOR
CHRIS GROSS
BILL CRIDER

It is with great pleasure that I announce and anticipate Erika’s posting of RR #1032 some day this weekend. I do hope that we will show her a similar level of participation and appreciation.

Thank you for playing,

Gary (Leerless Feeder) Hallock

======================

On Jul 12, 2020, at 9:55 AM, Gary Hallock <gary@...> wrote:

ROGUE RIDDLE #1031 - DAFFY REDUX - Launched Sunday, July 12, 2020 @ 9:55 am central time zone.

%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%

In loving memory of both Cynthia and Stan, I am this week offering a dozen of my own Punny daffynitions from the PUNY archives. As they were both avid creators and collectors of this form of wordplay, I deemed this the most appropriate way to honor their collective memory. Even though some of these have been shared with PUNY before, I have re-jiggered each of these into a riddle format. Thus, this is technically not a “repeat” in any significant way.

If this presentation strategy plays well with the gang, in the future iterations of this game, I may offer up some other lists which are based on Daffynitions earlier sprung upon us by Cyn or Stan.

Below you will find a listing of a dozen “PROMPT” words/terms numbered 1 thru 12.
Below that you will find a listing of a dozen “daffynitions" lettered A thru L. which are my own punny for each of the twelve prompts.

Because nobody reads or follows my instructions anyhow, feel free to mesh these two lists in whatever way works for you and respond to me privately at the address provided.

First player with the most (or all) correct matches will ignite my flaming admiration and win the chance to turn me down on the opportunity to host his/her own version of the Rogue next week.

%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%
Please submit all guesses, grasps, groans and gripes directly to <gary@...> and do not share to the list
%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%

================ THE PROMPTS & THE DAFFYNITIONS ================

1. - PROTUBERANCE
E. - Small insects that are especially fond of potatoes.

2. - AUTONOMY
A. - What I would see in the mirror if I were to gain about 1800 pounds.

3. - FUNDAMENTALIST
C. - Monies set aside to pay for the services of a psychic.

4. - ROMANTICS
I. - Parasites that infest many Italian males.

5. - DETERMINATION
L - Where steadfast subway riders are forced to disembark the D train.

6. - MAXIMUM
H - A much larger flower than the minimum.

7. - ELIMINATION
J - What your country country becomes after the citizens are called to arms.

8. - REPAIRED
D. - Getting married again to your ex.

9. - NUMERICAL
F. - What Jesus gave his followers each time he sensed their faith was failing.

10. - EUTHANASIA
K. - A student exchange program with far eastern countries

11. - PARADIGMS
B. - Not even enough these days to buy a cup of coffee or a newspaper.

12. - SPACE STATION
G. - Where you take your dog to get her fixed when you don’t want puppies.


%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%







--
Gary (Immodest Moderator) Hallock, Leerless Feeder


VHS tapes of past Pun-Offs

ticia731
 

I'm not sure if this email address will go to everyone in the PUNY group.

While cleaning out closets, I discovered I have a couple of VHS tapes of Pun-Off performances. I no longer have a VCR player - as I'm sure most of you don't - but in the event someone would like these to transfer to DVD or Flash Drive, they're here for the taking.

These are the tapes I've got:
Best of O.Henry Pun-Off World Championships - 10 years of Punniest of Show, 1989-1999
     for some reason I have 2 of those
24th O.Henry Pun-Off (2001) That was the first year I competed and I think Guy recorded the entire Pun-Off
25th O.Henry Pun-Off (2002) My second year and, again, Guy gave me this so I don't know if it's just me
Pun Smoke - a film by Casey Bruce, Cameron Burr, & Mark Morgan

Perhaps someone has the software to transfer these and would like to do that. Let me know if you're interested.

Thanks
Ticia










#RogueRiddle 1031 - Daffy Redux #RogueRiddle

gary hallock
 

ROGUE RIDDLE #1031 - DAFFY REDUX - Launched Sunday, July 12, 2020 @ 9:55 am central time zone.

%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%
Please submit all guesses, grasps, groans and gripes directly to <gary@...> and do not share to the list
%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%

In loving memory of both Cynthia and Stan, I am this week offering a dozen of my own Punny daffynitions from the PUNY archives. As they were both avid creators and collectors of this form of wordplay, I deemed this the most appropriate way to honor their collective memory. Even though some of these have been shared with PUNY before, I have re-jiggered each of these into a riddle format. Thus, this is technically not a “repeat” in any significant way.

If this presentation strategy plays well with the gang, in the future iterations of this game, I may offer up some other lists which are based on Daffynitions earlier sprung upon us by Cyn or Stan.

Below you will find a listing of a dozen “PROMPT” words/terms numbered 1 thru 12.
Below that you will find a listing of a dozen “daffynitions" lettered A thru L. which are my own punny for each of the twelve prompts.

Because nobody reads or follows my instructions anyhow, feel free to mesh these two lists in whatever way works for you and respond to me privately at the address provided.

First player with the most (or all) correct matches will ignite my flaming admiration and win the chance to turn me down on the opportunity to host his/her own version of the Rogue next week.

%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%
Please submit all guesses, grasps, groans and gripes directly to <gary@...> and do not share to the list
%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%

================ THE PROMPTS ================

1. - PROTUBERANCE

2. - AUTONOMY

3. - FUNDAMENTALIST

4. - ROMANTICS

5. - DETERMINATION

6. - MAXIMUM

7. - ELIMINATION

8. - REPAIRED

9. - NUMERICAL

10. - EUTHANASIA

11. - PARADIGMS

12. - SPACE STATION


================= DAFFYNITIONS ====================

A. - What I would see in the mirror if I were to gain about 1800 pounds.
B. - Not even enough these days to buy a cup of coffee or a newspaper.
C. - Monies set aside to pay for the services of a psychic.
D. - Getting married again to your ex.
E. - Small insects that are especially fond of potatoes.
F. - What Jesus gave his followers each time he sensed their faith was failing.
G. - Where you take your dog to get her fixed when you don’t want puppies.
H - A much larger flower than the minimum.
I. - Parasites that infest many Italian males.
J - What your country country becomes after the citizens are called to arms.
K. - A student exchange program with far eastern countries
L - Where steadfast subway riders are forced to disembark the D train.


%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%
Please submit all guesses, grasps, groans and gripes directly to <gary@...> and do not share to the list
%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%












--
Gary (Immodest Moderator) Hallock, Leerless Feeder


Rogue 1031 - 20 minute warning

gary hallock
 

Expect the weakly delayed RR #1031 to drop in your mailbox at about 9:30 am this morning.

Gary Hallock


--
Gary (Immodest Moderator) Hallock, Leerless Feeder


Interview with Cynthia MacGregor

gary hallock
 

I’m not sure how many of our PUNY regulars are aware that I’ve been co-producing a punny podcast for the past few years. In the wake of Cynthia passing this week, I thought perhaps it might be a suitable moment to share with you a special interview episode we recorded with Cynthia about a year ago. 

Click the link below and it should take you directly to that show. Many of the other shows are equally worthy of your attention, but go ahead and start here. 


Gary (Leerless Feeder) Hallock

--
Gary (Immodest Moderator) Hallock, Leerless Feeder


RR #1031 (Delay of game)

gary hallock
 

Considering the tepid responses to some of our recent riddle offerings, I wanted to make make sure I don’t tax the resources of our meager team of willing players at this moment. In light of the combined distraction of this holiday weekend and our collective consternation over the sad passage of our founding member Cynthia, I have humbly determined it best to delay my launch of ROGUE RIDDLE #1031 until next weekend.

On the bright side, I have my own birthday coming up on Tuesday, and so if anyone wants to take over Cynthia’s duties as birthday & anniversary cheerleader, the position is apparently open and the time seems right.

Watch for RR #1031 to appear in your email box sometime next weekend.

Gary (Cyn-less Feeder) Hallock



--
Gary (Immodest Moderator) Hallock, Leerless Feeder


Re: Cyn

Bertrand Piboin
 

As a long-time observer of PUNY and a long-time Pun-Off participant and worker at the event, I am saddened to hear of Cynthia’s passing.  She was the always happy person and one who never took her work too seriously.  When it came to being a judge, she was the best and had the most fun of any of those raising those numbers from 1 to 10.  

Punsters and wordsmiths everywhere will miss her.

Bert Piboin



On Jul 4, 2020, at 1:09 PM, joseph h via groups.io <joe9438@...> wrote:

I am sorry to report that messages on Cyn's facebook page include this:

"Janet Longman to Cynthia MacGregor

I am trying to come to terms with my loss. Words from Grant, her partner for many years, have helped.

Grant said "Cynthia was a deeply spiritual being, and believed in a loving Creator and continued existence as a Spirit.
We hope you will remember her as a deeply loving and extremely talented woman, who has uplifted the lives of all who have known her and worked with her.
Cynthia has a donor card for a facility in Delray that she has kept and her wishes are for them to pic...

See more"


We will all miss her.


Joseph


Cyn -- In Memoriam

Lars Hanson
 

   Energy and life,
   Buoyant well of warmth and love --
   You have touched us all.

    Aloha,

        Lars

=================================


[Limericks-n-Haiku] [puny] Cyn

James Ertner
 

I'll also miss her special greetings on all of our birthdays.

Jim



On July 4, 2020, at 4:03 PM, Lars Hanson <parkersan2001@...> wrote:


All,

    This seems surreal in so many ways.  Cyn has been a presence in our lives for decades, a vital force, rallying others when the going got tough.  It is really difficult to understand how a fall earlier this year should lead to her death.   We shall all miss her greatly.

    Aloha,

        Lars

=================================



On Sat, Jul 4, 2020 at 3:48 PM Ray Maynard <ray@...> wrote:

Vert VERY said. Cyn was a light in my life.


On 7/4/2020 11:29, Steve Wilson wrote:
:::sad:::

On Sat, Jul 4, 2020 at 2:09 PM joseph h via groups.io <joe9438=yahoo.co.uk@groups.io> wrote:

I am sorry to report that messages on Cyn's facebook page include this:

"Janet Longman to Cynthia MacGregor

I am trying to come to terms with my loss. Words from Grant, her partner for many years, have helped.

Grant said "Cynthia was a deeply spiritual being, and believed in a loving Creator and continued existence as a Spirit.
We hope you will remember her as a deeply loving and extremely talented woman, who has uplifted the lives of all who have known her and worked with her.
Cynthia has a donor card for a facility in Delray that she has kept and her wishes are for them to pic...

See more"


We will all miss her.


Joseph
--
Steve
Steve Wilson| Psychologist | The Joyologist | Cheerman of the Bored
Director-National Humor Month
http://www.worldlaughtertour.com
http://www.humormonth.com
http://www.stevewilson.com
http://www.laughterfoundation.org
Skype: s_h_wilson
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/World-Laughter-Tour/57984062492
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevehwilson
Twitter: (@joyologist)
Phone: 614-855-4733
Blog: http://www.laughterandhumor.blogspot.com

Today is just another normal day full of miracles, gifts and opportunities.


Re: Cyn

Lars Hanson
 

All,

    This seems surreal in so many ways.  Cyn has been a presence in our lives for decades, a vital force, rallying others when the going got tough.  It is really difficult to understand how a fall earlier this year should lead to her death.   We shall all miss her greatly.

    Aloha,

        Lars

=================================



On Sat, Jul 4, 2020 at 3:48 PM Ray Maynard <ray@...> wrote:

Vert VERY said. Cyn was a light in my life.


On 7/4/2020 11:29, Steve Wilson wrote:
:::sad:::

On Sat, Jul 4, 2020 at 2:09 PM joseph h via groups.io <joe9438=yahoo.co.uk@groups.io> wrote:

I am sorry to report that messages on Cyn's facebook page include this:

"Janet Longman to Cynthia MacGregor

I am trying to come to terms with my loss. Words from Grant, her partner for many years, have helped.

Grant said "Cynthia was a deeply spiritual being, and believed in a loving Creator and continued existence as a Spirit.
We hope you will remember her as a deeply loving and extremely talented woman, who has uplifted the lives of all who have known her and worked with her.
Cynthia has a donor card for a facility in Delray that she has kept and her wishes are for them to pic...

See more"


We will all miss her.


Joseph
--
Steve
Steve Wilson| Psychologist | The Joyologist | Cheerman of the Bored
Director-National Humor Month
http://www.worldlaughtertour.com
http://www.humormonth.com
http://www.stevewilson.com
http://www.laughterfoundation.org
Skype: s_h_wilson
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/World-Laughter-Tour/57984062492
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevehwilson
Twitter: (@joyologist)
Phone: 614-855-4733
Blog: http://www.laughterandhumor.blogspot.com

Today is just another normal day full of miracles, gifts and opportunities.


Re: Cyn

Ray Maynard
 

Vert VERY said. Cyn was a light in my life.


On 7/4/2020 11:29, Steve Wilson wrote:
:::sad:::

On Sat, Jul 4, 2020 at 2:09 PM joseph h via groups.io <joe9438=yahoo.co.uk@groups.io> wrote:

I am sorry to report that messages on Cyn's facebook page include this:

"Janet Longman to Cynthia MacGregor

I am trying to come to terms with my loss. Words from Grant, her partner for many years, have helped.

Grant said "Cynthia was a deeply spiritual being, and believed in a loving Creator and continued existence as a Spirit.
We hope you will remember her as a deeply loving and extremely talented woman, who has uplifted the lives of all who have known her and worked with her.
Cynthia has a donor card for a facility in Delray that she has kept and her wishes are for them to pic...

See more"


We will all miss her.


Joseph
--
Steve
Steve Wilson| Psychologist | The Joyologist | Cheerman of the Bored
Director-National Humor Month
http://www.worldlaughtertour.com
http://www.humormonth.com
http://www.stevewilson.com
http://www.laughterfoundation.org
Skype: s_h_wilson
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/World-Laughter-Tour/57984062492
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevehwilson
Twitter: (@joyologist)
Phone: 614-855-4733
Blog: http://www.laughterandhumor.blogspot.com

Today is just another normal day full of miracles, gifts and opportunities.


Re: Cyn

Lee Jackson
 

Content not available

On 7/4/2020 2:29 PM, James Ertner wrote:

What is there when you click on "See more"?

Jim



On July 4, 2020, at 2:09 PM, "joseph h via groups.io" <joe9438@...> wrote:


I am sorry to report that messages on Cyn's facebook page include this:

"Janet Longman to Cynthia MacGregor

I am trying to come to terms with my loss. Words from Grant, her partner for many years, have helped.

Grant said "Cynthia was a deeply spiritual being, and believed in a loving Creator and continued existence as a Spirit.
We hope you will remember her as a deeply loving and extremely talented woman, who has uplifted the lives of all who have known her and worked with her.
Cynthia has a donor card for a facility in Delray that she has kept and her wishes are for them to pic...

See more"


We will all miss her.


Joseph


Cyn

James Ertner
 

What is there when you click on "See more"?

Jim



On July 4, 2020, at 2:09 PM, "joseph h via groups.io" <joe9438@...> wrote:


I am sorry to report that messages on Cyn's facebook page include this:

"Janet Longman to Cynthia MacGregor

I am trying to come to terms with my loss. Words from Grant, her partner for many years, have helped.

Grant said "Cynthia was a deeply spiritual being, and believed in a loving Creator and continued existence as a Spirit.
We hope you will remember her as a deeply loving and extremely talented woman, who has uplifted the lives of all who have known her and worked with her.
Cynthia has a donor card for a facility in Delray that she has kept and her wishes are for them to pic...

See more"


We will all miss her.


Joseph


Re: Cyn

Marilyn Van Driesen
 

This has been a sad time for our group and others.  Over the years, Cyn and Stan have both helped me so much as I developed my love for puns. Limericks, and haikus.  Two huge supporters for our site here passed away during this burdensome year of losses all about us.  We’ll never have trouble remember what year it was.

 

Marilyn/Merk

 

 

Sent from Mail for Windows 10

 


Re: Cyn

Steve Wilson
 

:::sad:::

On Sat, Jul 4, 2020 at 2:09 PM joseph h via groups.io <joe9438=yahoo.co.uk@groups.io> wrote:

I am sorry to report that messages on Cyn's facebook page include this:

"Janet Longman to Cynthia MacGregor

I am trying to come to terms with my loss. Words from Grant, her partner for many years, have helped.

Grant said "Cynthia was a deeply spiritual being, and believed in a loving Creator and continued existence as a Spirit.
We hope you will remember her as a deeply loving and extremely talented woman, who has uplifted the lives of all who have known her and worked with her.
Cynthia has a donor card for a facility in Delray that she has kept and her wishes are for them to pic...

See more"


We will all miss her.


Joseph

--
Steve
Steve Wilson| Psychologist | The Joyologist | Cheerman of the Bored
Director-National Humor Month
http://www.worldlaughtertour.com
http://www.humormonth.com
http://www.stevewilson.com
http://www.laughterfoundation.org
Skype: s_h_wilson
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/World-Laughter-Tour/57984062492
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevehwilson
Twitter: (@joyologist)
Phone: 614-855-4733
Blog: http://www.laughterandhumor.blogspot.com

Today is just another normal day full of miracles, gifts and opportunities.


Cyn

joseph h
 

I am sorry to report that messages on Cyn's facebook page include this:

"Janet Longman to Cynthia MacGregor

I am trying to come to terms with my loss. Words from Grant, her partner for many years, have helped.

Grant said "Cynthia was a deeply spiritual being, and believed in a loving Creator and continued existence as a Spirit.
We hope you will remember her as a deeply loving and extremely talented woman, who has uplifted the lives of all who have known her and worked with her.
Cynthia has a donor card for a facility in Delray that she has kept and her wishes are for them to pic...

See more"


We will all miss her.


Joseph


#Rogue 1030 Reveal #rogue

bill crider
 

The only person to get both our shaggy dog stories was our one and only Learless Feeder, Gary Hallock. Gary will host Rogue 1031.

Reveals at the end of each story below.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. When Cliff the postman delivered packages, he was known to stop and chat with the folks he was delivering to. Like those at the bar, these conversations often became long and involved. It seemed Cliff could easily start a conversation, but could find no way to end one. If the postal customer was a lady, especially an attractive lady, the topics sometimes became inappropriate. Especially in today's sensitive times, Cliff was an anachronistic throwback to an earlier era. Eventually, of course, it got him in trouble. After repeated warnings and disciplinary actions, Cliff was eventually fired, all because of Cliff's Mail Patter Boldness (Male Pattern Baldness).

2. In an alternate universe, there is no Sahara Desert. Instead, North Africa is covered by a luxurious Sahara Forest. It is all because of the descendants of a man named Sinuheh. (True fact: In ancient Egyptian, Sinuheh means 'Son of the Sycamore.') In ancient times, North Africa was a vast grassland. But Sinuheh saw in a dream that it would become a desert. Determined that he would not allow this to happen, he began planting vast orchards of every kind of tree he could find. From these he became very wealthy, and had many wives and many sons. He raised up these sons and passed on his vision to them, and made them promise to pass it on to their sons. Through dozens of generations they continued this family tradition, and eventually all of North Africa was a vast forest because of Sinuheh's Re-Seeding Heir Line. (Receding Hair Line).


#Rogue Riddle 1030 - A big clue #rogue

bill crider
 

So far, not a single guess. 
Are these really that hard? 
OK, I'll give you a really big clue. Both these punchlines, in the punned version, are about men losing the fur off the top of their heads as they get older. Do you know how hard it is to say that without using any of the target words? Here's another clue: none of the words are repeated. 
Here's another clue: Just tell me you'll host next week, and I'll tell you the answers!

Send your guesses to bill.crider at gmail.com.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
We have not had any shaggy dog stories in a while, so I thought I would throw a couple in this week. One is original, and one is an oldie. 
A shaggy dog is a long story with a complex pun as a punchline. In this case, the puns are not really very complex - just three words. 
The puns are also based on the same topic, although the stories would not lead you to believe so. The puns have no relation to the actual stories. That is, the unpunned words complete the stories, but in shaggy dog fashion, the puns are unrelated to the story.
Don't reply all! If you do, everyone will see your guess and we will draft you to host next week. Instead send your guesses to bill.crider at gmail.com


1. When Cliff the postman delivered packages, he was known to stop and chat with the folks he was delivering to. Like those at the bar, these conversations often became long and involved. It seemed Cliff could easily start a conversation, but could find no way to end one. If the postal customer was a lady, especially an attractive lady, the topics sometimes became inappropriate. Especially in today's sensitive times, Cliff was an anachronistic throwback to an earlier era. Eventually, of course, it got him in trouble. After repeated warnings and disciplinary actions, Cliff was eventually fired, all because of Cliff's Blank Blank Blank.

2. In an alternate universe, there is no Sahara Desert. Instead, North Africa is covered by a luxurious Sahara Forest. It is all because of the descendants of a man named Sinuheh. (True fact: In ancient Egyptian, Sinuheh means 'Son of the Sycamore.') In ancient times, North Africa was a vast grassland. But Sinuheh saw in a dream that it would become a desert. Determined that he would not allow this to happen, he began planting vast orchards of every kind of tree he could find. From these he became very wealthy, and had many wives and many sons. He raised up these sons and passed on his vision to them, and made them promise to pass it on to their sons. Through dozens of generations they continued this family tradition, and eventually all of North Africa was a vast forest because of Sinuheh's Blank Blank Blank.
_._,


#Rogue Riddle 1030 - A couple of shaggy dog stories #rogue

bill crider
 

We have not had any shaggy dog stories in a while, so I thought I would throw a couple in this week. One is original, and one is an oldie. 
A shaggy dog is a long story with a complex pun as a punchline. In this case, the puns are not really very complex - just three words. 
The puns are also based on the same topic, although the stories would not lead you to believe so. The puns have no relation to the actual stories. That is, the unpunned words complete the stories, but in shaggy dog fashion, the puns are unrelated to the story.
Don't reply all! If you do, everyone will see your guess and we will draft you to host next week. Instead send your guesses to bill.crider at gmail.com


1. When Cliff the postman delivered packages, he was known to stop and chat with the folks he was delivering to. Like those at the bar, these conversations often became long and involved. It seemed Cliff could easily start a conversation, but could find no way to end one. If the postal customer was a lady, especially an attractive lady, the topics sometimes became inappropriate. Especially in today's sensitive times, Cliff was an anachronistic throwback to an earlier era. Eventually, of course, it got him in trouble. After repeated warnings and disciplinary actions, Cliff was eventually fired, all because of Cliff's Blank Blank Blank.

2. In an alternative universe, there is no Sahara Desert. Instead, North Africa is covered by a luxurious Sahara Forest. It is all because of the descendants of a man named Sinuheh. In ancient times, North Africa was a vast grassland. But Sinuheh saw in a dream that it would become a desert. Determined that he would not allow this to happen, he began planting vast orchards of every kind of tree he could find. From these he became very wealthy, and had many wives and many sons. He raised up these sons and passed on his vision to them, and made them promise to pass it on to their sons. Through dozens of generations they continued this family tradition, and eventually all of North Africa was a vast forest because of Sinuheh's Blank Blank Blank.