Rogue Riddle 1056 Rockin’ Roles II Solutions #RogueRiddle


gregg siegel
 

1. So the first three American Presidents, a visionary lot, were asked to name their favorite modes of 20th century transportation. The list was this: Washington Motorboat, Adams Helicopter, Jefferson Airplane.

 

2. Remember that great vaudeville comedian Mr. Amsterdam, late of the Dick Van Dyke show with Mary Tyler Moore? I didn’t either, but I needed someone with this first name for this pun/joke thing. So, if I was to go on tour with his male drummer offspring, and I saw said drummer out on the curb as our transport was pulling away, I might yell, “hey, get in the Van Maurey’s Son.”

 

3. I’m easy. All I wanted for the holidays was a festive garland, a $100 bill and a two wheeler. So, in summary, that’s a wreath a Franklin and a bicycle.

 

4. What else did I want for the holidays? Well, I was thinking that a new commode would be nice. And my momma needs a new patella joint, maybe one of those Avenger-type titanium ones. And a handful of greenbacks are always a nice touch. So to sum up, under my Magen David-topped Christmas tree I was delighted to find the following list of items: John, Knee, Cash.

 

5. OK, I got lots of requests so I’m feeling obligated, and the omission in the last set I guess was kinda obvious. You all be tellsing me to include them. So I dids.

 

6. Old Mr. Weinstein, god rest him, was a noted philatelist. He used those clear hinge thingies to put his finds into place. He was fast too. He could do like 100 in an hour, so it took him only a few minutes to mount ten.

 

7. They say that the good die young. But what about those who are even better than good? They might suffer a similar fate, and with a high degree of suddenness, toppling over right where they stand. To sum up, if the axiom is to be believed, the great fall dead.

 

8. My pal has a thing against the season’s festive gall berry. I think it’s the green and red coloring. So he decided to color it differently, perhaps using some of the leftover purple, denim, ice blue, turquoise or one of the other awesome hair colors that his wife uses. I can’t wait—I’m going to witness my bud dye holly.

 

9. I’m trying hard to make ends meet for my family, but I don’t think it’s safe to be out in public, so long distance trucking seemed like a natural fit. It’s working out ok. My latest load is a DC to LA run with a cargo of cereal grains. That’s right, I’m hauling oats.

 

10. Female chickens, surprisingly enough, are great at close up card magic. Especially that one with the cool markings that look like ice cream sprinkles all over her. Come see the jimmie hen’s tricks.

 

11. So, this upper class British gentleman was of the opinion that I had had a dalliance with his wife. He challenged me to a duel. He slapped my face with a white glove and said “Sir with my wife you had sex, pistols at dawn it is.”

 

12. This patient at the STD clinic where I worked in college was inexplicably bragging about how he had been there with great frequency. “I’ve had the clap tons of times,” he said.

 

13. So I’m thinking, it’s a good thing that it’s evening and hopefully the little kids are in bed and are being spared any seemingly off-color or violence-tinged commentary. What I mean to say is that I am glad its night and the pipsqueaks are gone.

 

14. Take away her Vera Wang, but never her DKNY. “Mah Donna Karan dress will always be in vogue,” she said.

 

15. I am EX-static about my new composite deck. It’s BE-utiful! I had looked at many potential materials to build from, and I finally settled on T-REX. And I am so GUL-ad I did.

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