On Mar 18, 2020, at 9:01 AM, gary hallock <gary@hallock.net> wrote:

Here in Austin we have taken the precaution of cancelling the O.Henry Pun-Off. It seems many contestants were planning to enter Punniest of Show with long-winded shaggy dog stories and we wanted to avoid creating a “Groaner Farce.”

Gary Hallock
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I’m getting rid of all my old Jolson, Sinatra and Crosby recordings. I don’t want to risk getting the “crooner virus.”

Gary Hallock
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The vegan community is being extra cautious about going out in public because they fear they might come in contact with someone who is a carrier of “carnivorous.” (Nothing to sneeze at!)

Gary Hallock
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Even though the virus scare has closed most of the schools, that won’t keep teachers from issuing report cards. Some kids are now sure to be grounded by their parents with a low-grade fever.

Gary Hallock
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I have decided to stop hanging out with all these old geezer pals of mine. I don’t want to end up suffering from “crony virus.”

Gary Hallock

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I don't understand the trend to criticize Southern California that seems to have "gone viral". Everyone wants to support SoCal dissing.

GReeves

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A friend was speculating about which stocks are likely to rebound first after the market starts to recover. He thinks oil stocks will surge because people will want to avoid public transportation. I disagree. I think people will want to abandon their vehicles to avoid contracting the dreaded “Car Owner Virus.” - It’s quite contagious because it has an automatic transmission.

Gary Hallock
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They made a movie about the aftereffects of coronavirus; how politicians used it to put in the most outrageous restrictions on our freedoms and to spend billions on things totally unrelated to the crisis; how people started hoarding things that were totally unrelated to sickness care or which were perishable; how they bought up painters masks from hardware stores that offered no protection from virus at all.
The name of the shmoovie?

Wuhan flu alters into cuckoo fest.



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Gary (Immodest Moderator) Hallock, Leerless Feeder