Rogue Riddle 8 (ANSWERED)

gary hallock

Begin forwarded message:

From: The Hallock Entity <c.hallock@...>
Subject: Rogue Riddle #8 (ANSWERED)
Date: August 20, 2000 at 4:22:46 PM CDT

Hey everyone! Remember last week's rogue riddle? Here it is again for your reading pleasure accompanied by the lively edited exchange of messages between our winning guesser and mine truly. Hope you find this re-creation to be a simulating exercise. 


Rogue Riddle #8

Before there was "My Fair Lady" there was "Pygmalion." No, not the Chauvinist swine who wrote the James Bond novels, I'm talking about the G.B.Shaw play that takes its name from Greek mythology. Shaw's play was inspired by Ovid's story, "Metamorphoses," wherein Pygmalion, the king of Cyprus, sculpted an ivory statue of a beautiful woman and then fell in love with it. In answer to his prayers Aphrodite gave life to the statue, whom Pygmalion called Galatea. Although he might have been charged with statutory rape, they supposedly they lived happily ever after.

Just like "My Fair Lady," the story of Pinocchio was also indirectly inspired by the tale of Pygmalion, but probably you never heard the whole story. What Disney never told us was that Pinocchio's creator was a dirty old man, a Geppettophile, who got his kicks from creating anatomically correct puppets. He carved Pinocchio from pin oak ya know, but used stock from a lightweight tropical tree to create his genitalia. He literally had balsa wood and was, of course, blessed with a fairly permanent woody. 

Pervert that he was, Geppetto decided to create a buxom mate for Pinocchio and his red-headed woodpecker. He whittled his little "Galatea" from naughty pine but her ample breasts were carved from a log that had been infested with beetles. In fact some of the insect eggs remained in her chest and were starting to hatch out. Although it seems unlikely, this supposed flaw in her anatomy was not only appreciated by the girl but she actually celebrated it in song. Although this musical number was cut from the Disney version, it was later adapted (with a slightly altered lyric) and used in "My Fair Lady" where the Cockney flower girl, Eliza Doolittle did it justice. Name that tune.

The first correct guesser wins the right to author Rogue Riddle #9 next Sunday

GARY HALLOCK <c.hallock@...>


Okay, how about this: Wooden it beetle larvaly?



Considerably closer but still not a slam dunk. Review the circumstances and I'm sure you'll get the extra two points. The same two points that Geppetto was trying to make.


Wooden tit beetle larvaly?



Dead center. I couldn't have axed four more.



I guess Galatea's breasts were carved from a pear tree.


For extra credit you can further speculate what wood was used to
carve Galatea's genitalia.


I'm stumped.  It could be wood from a fir tree with a little cherry thrown
in.  Or a tulip tree.  Either way, she must have been poplar with the boys.



I'll tell yew but you WILLOW me one. Just don't get too PUSSY with me.


Gary (Immodest Moderator) Hallock, Leerless Feeder

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