#RogueRiddle 999 (bingo & reveal) #RogueRiddle

gary hallock


$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$Only the most astute PUNY subscribers could have recognized that this riddle was actually a classic repeat plucked from the dusty archives of August 20, 2000. When I originally launched it on that date over 19 years ago it carried the name Rogue Riddle #8. As it was from the first few weeks of our new game, it was received and played with enthusiasm by a number of our original core players, a few of whom are participating (or at least lurking) still today.  

Fairly certain that this riddle would be perceived as fresh material, I worried only about being ratted out by our intrepid riddle archivist, Gary Reeves who has recently been rummaging through the stats and details of the previous 998. Lucky for me, he had already removed himself from this week’s competition, so it I knew my secret would be safe.  

In its new incarnation as RR#999 this story riddle entertained and perplexed a fresh batch of players both old and new. Reasonably near misses were submitted by David W., Alex R., Chris G., Bill C., Aaron F. and even Gary R. Nearly all players quickly identified the target tune but failed to provide my fully punned version of the title. As expected, it was our confessed “show tune aficionado” Cynthia M. who plugged away  ard enough with her twisted wits to claim the kill. 

In addition to revealing the answer below as I usually do, I will also be separately reposting the original version of this riddle and reveal as it appeared 19 years ago when our winner was Karen “TappedAnts” Hamilton. You will want to read all the way to the bottom and see how it originally inspired some pretty good sidebar puns way back then. 

Thank you everyone for playing along and sharing the first thousand rogues with me. Watch for Cynthia to launch #1000 sometime this weekend and set the pace for our next millennium. 

Gary Hallock

ROGUE RIDDLE (number) 999 - Launched November 24, 2019 @ 1pm central

Blessed with the awesome responsibility of hosting the last of the 3 digit Rogues, I was very tempted to compile a special game that payed on the word “nine” and or “nein.” But then I thought “NO!” Alternately, I briefly considered flipping that idea on its head and compiling a bunch of wordplays on "remarks of the beast.” This notion also seemed somehow a bit unworthy. Recognizing that I had been refreshed and inspired by Gary Reeves’ throwback riddle from last week, I ultimately decided to go totally retro myself and offer an old-style entertainingly convoluted story set-up designed to elicit a punny twist on single phrase, in this case a song title. (You’re welcome, Cynthia!) 

Thus, here you will see it presented below. Enjoy the change of pace. Employ your brains cells and perhaps appreciate a few puns along the way. Finally, submit to me your properly twisted song title to claim the coveted prize, hosting privileges for the first of our 4 digit Rogues.

As is my habit, I’m offering no specific deadline. I’m fairly certain that someone will nail this one within a few days (or hours) so if you are out for blood, get into the game soon. Guesses submitted in earnest will be rewarded with private clues and/or coaching. - Let the games begin!



Before there was "My Fair Lady," there was "Pygmalion." No, not the Chauvinist swine who wrote the James Bond novels, I'm talking about the G.B.Shaw play that takes its name from Greek mythology. Shaw's play was inspired by Ovid's story, "Metamorphoses," wherein Pygmalion, the king of Cyprus, sculpted an ivory statue of a beautiful woman and then fell in love with it. In answer to his prayers Aphrodite gave life to the statue, whom Pygmalion called Galatea. Although he might have been charged with statutory rape, they supposedly they lived happily ever after.

Just like "My Fair Lady," the story of Pinocchio was also indirectly inspired by the tale of Pygmalion, but probably you never heard the whole story. What Disney never told us was that Pinocchio's creator was a dirty old man, a Geppettophile, who got his kicks from creating anatomically correct puppets. He carved Pinocchio from pin oak ya know, but used stock from a lightweight tropical tree to create his genitalia. He literally had balsa wood and was, of course, blessed with a fairly permanent woody. 

Pervert that he was, Geppetto decided to create a buxom mate for Pinocchio and his red-headed woodpecker. He whittled his little "Galatea" from naughty pine but her ample breasts were carved from a log that had been infested with wood eating bugs. In fact some of the insect eggs remained in her chest and were starting to hatch out. Although it seems unlikely, this supposed flaw in her anatomy was not only appreciated by the girl but she actually celebrated it in song. Although this musical number was cut from the Disney version, it was later adapted (with a slightly altered lyric) and used in "My Fair Lady" where the Cockney flower girl, Eliza Doolittle did it justice. Name that tune.

The first correct guesser wins the right to author Rogue Riddle #1000 next week. 



Gary (Immodest Moderator) Hallock, Leerless Feeder

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