Re: Daffynition (Repaired & Retired?)


gary hallock
 

Diploma - Who you call when the sink is clogged.

Cynthia MacGregor

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Hairdresser: Where Bugs Bunny keeps his underwear

Stan

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Carotene - An adolescent orange vegetable

Cyn

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Litigator: The act of setting fire to an amphibious reptile

Stan

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Reptile - What a flooring salesman does

Cyn

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Flea Market: What the crooks did after stealing groceries

Stan

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Clamorous - A stunning bivalve

Cyn

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Diverticulitis- A technique used by pickpockets in which one breaks
out laughing and the other pinches your wallet while you are distracted.


.Norm S

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Kleenex: What you get when you wash behind your ears

Stan

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Missile - To take aim at the window's inside ledge but fail.

Cyn

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Marionette: What Frankie Avalon wanted to do in those beach movies

Stan

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Puppet - What your child keeps insisting on, even though you hoped
she'd be happy with just a turtle.

Cyn

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Elixir: What a puppy does to his owner when she gives him a bone

Stan

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Ownership - What the boat sellers at the nautical expo keep exhorting
attendees to do.

Cyn

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Touchdown: To feel goose feathers.

Stan

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Piratical - To throw a lemon meringue confection in the face of
someone whose politics are too "out there" for you.

Cyn


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Potomac- Large kettle of pasta

Insulate- Missed curfew

Honorable- What Cane didn't do

Norm S.

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Fanatic: Where you store fans for the winter

Stan

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Hasidic Jews - Corrosive citrus oils

Unabridged - Having a soft belly without sharply defined muscles

GARY HALLOCK (Late to the party but happy to make a showing).

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Ginger Snaps: Gilligan's girl friend has a nervous breakdown

Stan

= = = = = Winn-Dixie - A southern based specialty retail store that
sells only one brand of glass cleaner.

Mortar fire - I never told my girlfriend my hobby of shooting
cannons because I knew it would mortar fire.

Amsterdam - To block up a river with the bodies of many small rodents.

GARY HALLOCK


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Calypso - The two services offered by the combination barber- tailor
shop

Cyn

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Mondegreen: Advice from a Jamaican caddy.

Bob

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Half-baked: What you did to a pastry, as in, "Happy birthday. I half-
baked this cake for you."

Quarterback: As in, "Our cat got out last night, but I quarterback in
the bushes and got her into the house."


Cyn

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Kindred: Fear of your relatives

Stan

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Coruscate: what the rockettes do on ice

Norm S.

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Pylon: What football players do when the ball is fumbled

Stan

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Bibliograph: What Steffi carries to church pyramid: trying to see
through the crowd.

Norm S.

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Foreclose: Why my daughter goes to the mall.

Stan

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Drive: Explaining that you've been for a medical check up as you pull
into your home.

Joseph Harris

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Left Bank: What the robber did after filling his bag with cash.

Stan

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Chicken nuggets - The reason so many men grab their crotch

Big Mac - Raincoat for very large men

Whopper - Used to sweep water from your car's windshield

Chili dog - The cause of that frostbite on your toes

Fries - An uncomplimentary nickname for a geek or a nerd

Gary Hallock gary@h...

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Infidel: Where most of the fried chicken ends up in Cuba.

Stan

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Piper Cub: A wee Scot

Consolation: Work done in the prison shoe repair shop.

Norm S

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Hirsute: What she wore to the beach.

Bob

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Harpy - Urine flow of an upright stringed instrument

Cyn

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Senile: A must on a visit to Egypt

Stan

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Comprehensible - Understands a male bovine

Cyn

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Matador: To place padding on the entrance to the ring to prevent
injury to a bull trying to enter prematurely

Stan

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Toreador - What I did for my friend Raymond when I realized he'd
constructed his new grass hut with no means of access or egress.

Cyn

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Nicotine: What usually happens to first time shavers

Stan

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Deodorant - Not the queen but the drone.

Cyn

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Metronome: The business section of a city in Alaska.

Stan
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Classify - As in, I'll be late to classify I don't find a parking place
soon.

Cyn

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Deodorant - A convoluted way to say that you've paid off Will on that
money he loaned you.

Metronome - An elf that rides the subway

Dead sea scrolls - What I'm starting to feel when I click open the
latest message in this thread. Can we start over fresh tomorrow?

GARY HALLOCK

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